Seldom Seen Way

{February 1, 2014}   Two Little Words.

There is only one phrase that I crave to hear more than any other – “good girl”

Many think this is Condescending. Patronizing. Even Paternalistic. I on the other hand, I fucking love it. It makes my pussy wet, my mind float and my heart sing. The first time He called me a “good girl,” It feels like a rush of endophins hit me fast and I want more.

I avoid at all costs not to make Him disappointed with me. Unfortunately I have been for nearly 5 years everyday without realizing it.

It came to a catalystic expolosion a couple of weeks ago. W/we were on the sofa talking as W/we normally do. Then out of the blue He looks at me thoughtfully and says “My god you are so beautiful, I am such a lucky Man.” I looked back and gave him my usual response “meh” and shrugged the shoulders.

Please note I have been doing this little ritual-like response for 5 years. He has told me I am beautiful EVERY day (YES, EVERYDAY) for the last 5 years and I basically disregarded it. More of habit than anything else. I do not take compliments very well. My past always creeps back to me when I hear one. I was given compliments to get into my shirt/pants NOT because they thought I was truly beautiful to them.

At that moment, His face changed and the tone of His voice went were it rarely went…the I am hurt voice. “Are you calling me a Liar, as these are my thoughts”. My response “No, I’m not calling you a Liar” – however when I thought about it, I really was, and not intentionally. All of a sudden, I really looked at Him for who He was. He was a Man that truly thought I am beautiful and loved me to no end. I hurt him and the disappointment was clearly there.

I hate punishment – remember I always crave hearing and being a “good girl”. This is one time I need punishment and change of behaviour was going to happen. And with all honestly, I deserved it. In a sense, I was disrespecting Him, and that is not even acceptable to me.

I will never look at spreader bars, hogtie harness, and a chair in the same way again together. My arse was tanned by the flogger and a plug in. It felt like eternity but nothing comparing to me ignoring and never accepting that phrase of thoughtful Love from His heart. That remained with me for 3 days reminding me of that course of punishment every time I sat down.

Now, when He tells me I am beautiful, my response is Thank you, Sir. Yes, I will admit I may falter for a moment, and fight with the demons, however I use that pause to reflect back. He truly Loves me for who I am. I am a lucky woman to have found Him.

And occassionally, He will tell me I am a good girl, when I respond back properly. My heart soars, my pussy gets moist, and all I want is to be as close as I can to Him.


billmckewin says:

I thought that to, even though it made me feel amazing and so love to hear those two little words as well. I to have been punished for not being able to accept the compliment from my Sir that he believes I am beautiful.Although it is still hard at times I have learned to say “Thank you Sir.” and most days I actually do believe it, a long way from before we started. It’s nice to be able to share this with you, to read your blog and know that there is someone else out there. Thank you for your blog and I will be sure to read it regularly.

seldomseenway says:

Thank you for reading and enjoying it. Sometimes you think you are the only person that has dealt with it until you receive validation that you are in fact not alone.

Again, Thank you.

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