Seldom Seen Way

{February 3, 2014}   Communication.

In any relationship, vanilla and D/s, communication needs to be right up top in your priorities to ensure you have a lasting life together that encompasses love, respect and trust.

One way of doing it is via a journal, like myself and Syn. It is a way to get everything out that you might have missed talking one on one. 

One thing I do have to say is not to just use the Journal… that one on one time is precious. It shouldn’t just be words on a piece of paper or computer screen. Think of it more as the expression you will see on their face, the twinkle of their eye when something excites them, the possible blush, or squirm when posed with a question they really have to think about. This is what makes talking fun and unpredictable. 

This is an example of one of the ways we incorporate communication on something that may be hard at first to discuss; our kinks. Some people are really embarrassed about what they love/like and scared that something they don’t love may be something their partner will. 

One night – actually last Monday – we were in bed and I casually said, let’s pull up the fetish list from fetlife and go through them. He didn’t think I was serious at first. He kinda of laughed as did I, but I was truly wanting this. So after another gentle push – ok it was more of a “grab Your tablet, we are doing this” comment, W/we pulled up the list and started from the top… A-Z, except it started with  1950’s Household… and W/we giggled. 

#2 was 24/7 – Right off it was a no for both U/us to that one. Perhaps many years down the road it will come to this, however W/we have enough of the D/s that bleeds into O/our vanilla life. Just getting that off O/our chests, made it much easier and the conversation was more fluid for the rest of the evening.

This continued till W/we got to the end of the alphabet. Yes it may have took U/us a couple of hours however it was the time W/we got to spent side by side enjoying the back and forth communication.  W/we both learned new fetishes W/we both didn’t know the other was into (Saran wrap was one of them), giggled about some that were to far-fetched for us (dollification), ewwwwed at the thought of some (human toilet), and learned what some meant such as  Auralism, Dacryphilia and Nyotaimori.

Syn and I make sure to find time to talk to each other everyday in one form or another. I am currently at work and I keep google-talk open to reach out and share with Him…it allows us to be closer as my schedule can be a pain at times (and not in a good way).

Communicating without words is also a form that many do not participate in – or they do and it is more in a negative way. W/we can be together and the silence is not awkward. W/we touch each other, smile, receive a light kiss on the forehead, a squeeze of the hand, or even His hand on the low of my back. These are ways of communicating too. It shows me how much He loves me without words, and sometimes mean more to me as He is showing me that He loves me.

Remember you can’t have Respect and Trust in Y/your relationship without Communication. I can’t stress that enough. If you can’t talk to Your Partner WHY ARE YOU with them

I think of Him as my best friend and I don’t want that to be jeopardized. I don’t know what I would do without Him. I want to tell Him all my secrets, perverse thoughts, and my “going to hell” thoughts. It makes being with Him worth the time and effort W/we put into O/our relationship.








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