Seldom Seen Way

{February 6, 2014}   Instead of sitting on a Pedestal…

I know I can write very analytically…I have for years. I tend to step outside and look within…take out the emotion as much as possible and be more guarded.

I am going to let you in and open up the vault… well a crack or two to let you sneak in.

As a D/s couple, W/we have had to go over these questions… together and individually. It is a good lesson into oneself and relationships in general.

I am going to share some of the answers I have to those very questions. Some of it, Syn will know, and perhaps something even He might learn about me. Many questions, many answers, will become many posts…as not to flood too much.

BIG breath…Time to bare my soul/mind/heart:

The BIG question in my opinion and the one I will focus for this post: Why do you wish to be in this Lifestyle? What sparked your interest? Did you always have a pre deposition to a role?

When I was 16 (just a youngin’), there was this guy that drew me in like a magnet. I was always drawn to him at parties, classes, and when I just saw him wandering about town (very small community of about 3500). He was 6’3 – slight build, and a Ginger. He did in fact steal my soul. The more I was with him; I didn’t want to be away from him. Of course, many thought this as puppy love – remember you are only 16 – what do you know. For me, I would move mountains for him if I could, I would endure pretty much anything to have him be pleased. When we were together, I discovered my love of corsets, lingerie, light bondage, scratching, to service another person, and spankings. This is also the time that my nickname throughout my entire high school existence came about – Cougar (a story for another time). I never wanted the elated feeling to ever go away. This is when I started to pursue the Lifestyle…however at 16 I didn’t know what it was called.

At this very age, I was a bookworm; I always told people when asked “when I grow up I am going to be a Teacher or a Librarian”. I did eventually become a Librarian. I was always found at the local Library – researching the very thing I wanted to know why I feel the way I feel. Please remember this is before Libraries had the wonderful use of Internet (YES, I am THAT old).

Oddly enough, I did find a book, The Story of O. If you are unsure of what book I am referring to, Google can be your friend along with Wikipedia;

And it snowballed from there…I found many books on the topic and I didn’t have that “I am not crazy and a Freak” feeling. Sure I was still alone, but found solace in the pages of the books.
The Librarian part of me wishes to share which books helped me through this time:
Woman and Her Master (1904) by Jean de Villiot
Memoirs of a Dominatrice (1933) by Jean Claqueret
“9½ Weeks (Book)” (1978) an erotic memoir by Elizabeth McNeill
Exit to Eden (1985) and the Beauty series (1983-85) – Anne Rice
Later on I found – The Marketplace (2000–2001), a series of novels by Laura Antoniou.

Now comes the big one – WHY do I wish to partake in this Lifestyle?

For me it gives me Freedom, it is Beautiful, it is Structured, it is Pleasure. Plain and simple.

Beauty – it is creating a sensual beauty, albeit a beauty different from what is traditionally considered sexy. Some people find it beautiful and erotic to see a person writhing in ecstasy, and some people may find nothing more beautiful than a person struggling against cuffs. A lot of the time, it’s simply a different aesthetic- loving the look of rope/cuffs on the skin, the gleam of metal, the smell of leather, the sight of a raised welt on a lover’s bare bottom.

Freedom – Relinquishing control. It’s a very primal thing, separate from the worrisome arena of the mind- you do as you’re told, you take what you are given, and there is no place left for your mind to get in the way of the sensual pleasures, which are here, now, and tactile.

Pleasure – For me Pain can be Pleasure. When we are hurt, the brain produces endorphins, those natural opiates, to compensate for the pain, and when sexually aroused, your pain tolerance levels raise dramatically. And then it goes back to my Freedom comment.

Structured – I love the Art of Protocol. In itself it is beautiful to watch. The way a submissive greets her Dom/me, how the rituals flow, and the slave positions. The way a slave is able to express her love for her Master through her actions. Her actions include ways of standing, sitting and speaking (ways of being) as well as ways of preparing things to please her Master in a consensual “Master/slave” relationship.

I am in this Lifestyle because BDSM forges a very intimate kind of relationship. By placing your trust in another, or accepting that your other has placed their trust in you, is a heady dynamic. It tends to promote stronger, more passionate relationships than in “vanilla” life.

And who wouldn’t want a Strong, Trusting, and Passionate Relationship?


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