Seldom Seen Way











{February 10, 2014}   Sunday Nights.

Sundays are the days that I look forward to every week – and on occassion, dread. This is the one day I can spend a lot more time with Syn. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t the time I spend with Him I dread…it is what if I forget to do something and I am surely not going to forget it again part.

As I sit here, my arse is RED and burning on the cheeks. There is only one time really that this happens…I forgot something. I forgot the Cardinal Rule – Syn is to always be called Sir when in scene, in training, and munches etc.

Tonight was a bit of a pop-quiz which I was to have a week to have the House Doctrine known from front to back for the Upper Floor. Sadly, it wasn’t the positions or the extra training for my legs – it was because I didn’t say Sir after He asked how it felt when He made me do a squat pose after the leg flogging.

I was so mad at Him that all I could get out was “it hurts” … and nothing more after that… and I know my tone likely gave away the fact I was pissed at Him. I was fine with the flogging – not so much with the squat pose after that with my hands cuffed in front of me.

When I realized what I forgot, because all I could see was red from anger – it was too late. It was at that moment while He was telling me to go get the wooden brush and go to the wait position that I was about to cry. I felt the tears well up.

I cursed in my head loudly (as that would have been more punishment if I swore aloud), tears welling up, grabbed the (wooden fucking) brush (I hate that brush as you can tell) and sat in the waiting position with it ready to offer. He made me sit there for what felt like an eternity while He was in the other room. He knows this drives me crazy to sit with my thoughts alone.

He came back and instructed that I get into presentation position on all fours. That first thump on the cheek I wanted to fucking hit Him – and then came another to the other side. He did 3 smacks to each cheek – by the time He was done I went from wanting to hit Him to wanting to be able to start over and do it correctly for a “good girl” instead.

It wasn’t that I was really angry with Him – it was with myself. I know better. I just do. I broke a rule and I agreed to be punished when I do that.

When all that was said and done, it was just that DONE. W/we learn from it.

I got a reward for what I did accomplish tonight… and I was proud that I was able to get through it. Training sucks, however W/we will never go forward if W/we don’t start taking things seriously to where W/we wish to go.

He wanted to talk after I came down – and I said I was ready…though I think I am still coming down as I am writing this. W/we did get through what protocols W/we wanted for social/low/medium…and the Training – that is for the High – that will be a constant for awhile.

The rituals portion were hammered out a touch tonight, and that makes me happy. Now I know when a scene starts as it is much clearer, I know what is expected and get what I need to prep when the phrase is said.

I know what position He prefers when He asks for me to be At Attention and Why. The why made me blush and I was glad the room was low light. I never understand at the things I blush at considering what He has done to me would make most anyone else blush.

W/we also talked about what I needed and reviewing what I have started to do to implement ritual in my vanilla life:

– Go up the stairs of death at work once a day (trust me – stairs of death)

– Take my magnesium and Fish oil

– He will remind me about my B12 – This is not an option – I am B12 deficient/anemic – It isn’t pretty when I miss a couple of days.

– During my work day take a 15 minute stretch/walk away from the office.

– Don’t work during my 30 minutes lunch – already been implementing that one for my sanity

– Drink a bottle of water during the day – which is getting better – even had my bottle with me tonight when I went over

– And strive for 8 hours sleep – which is really hard to do for me but I will try as best I can.

What I hope you get from all this is that:

Sometimes I neglect myself – okay – I do it more often than not. He really Loves me and only wants the best for me as I only want the best for Him.  I am Blessed He wants to go on this Journey with me – and I couldn’t ask for a better Partner.

 

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[…] I’ll start much the way my little fae did in her post regarding Sundays. […]



lucidsyn says:

I will say more in private my little fae, but your words, they Honor me. you are Indeed a Good Girl. ❤



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