Seldom Seen Way

{February 16, 2014}   Off – Centered.

I don’t normally post about my “feelings”. However, when I woke up today I knew I was off for the day. It is that feeling that I can’t get out of a hole…digging myself down further. I have no idea why, just that I know I get like this a couple of times a year.

I thought – nah – can’t be. I had a good sleep, and my allergies are not killing me at the moment (3 cats, I have). But no, I couldn’t shake it,  it is going to be that type of day.

I had to go to the store for a couple of things, as I have 2 teens that slept over last night and I wanted to ensure I had milk and such for them. As I am driving to the store – it hits me suddenly – no warning – tears started coming down the face, my tummy flipping when it does. I hate this feeling.

I am trying to process why I am crying – something I don’t do – not even in front of Syn. It is like it decides a couple of times a year to spill out to let it all out from the last time I did it.

I wish I could figure this out. I am blessed to have three beautiful children, and a Man that I can’t live without who loves me for who I am.

February seems to be the month it happens constantly and the only thing that is significant is my birthday. I am not depressed about being older…though at one point in my younger years I was.

It is like I horde the saddness and it needs a way out.

So, I know I am off today – now to try to get through the rest of the day.


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