Seldom Seen Way

{February 18, 2014}   Four Watch Words

Another weekend (and a long weekend at that) has come and gone. I am now at work, wishing to be with Syn instead of crunching numbers. This is a 4-day work week and it will be the longest I have done. Why you ask, because next week, I have a week of holidays to take.  This will be the week of my birthday – I will be 42 years young.  The last week or two has been busy with emotionally/mentally and physically challenges already.

Monday became a Training Day due to the incident of Sunday. And training it was. O/our days together training are several hours…so I will not bore you all with the details – just highlights:

My presentation pose was much better – with a better back arch – I have been practicing.  The part I have to get used to again – being able to stay posed while the flogger and/or crop are being used.

W/we went over a few things, such as where He wishes my eyes to be, the way I project my voice and how I am to sit at ease – which I will say is much easier on the joints. My muscles will still be sore however as Syn has said at least I will not be broken.

Syn asked me how He could help me learn the lessons knowing I am more to do it than describe it verbally.  As you probably can guess, I have to recap for myself the training/lessons as that is the type of learner I am. I am also one for repetition.  This was very evident when He asked me to describe the poses instead of just doing them.  Verbally I am weak – this is one of those areas Syn feels I need to work on.

After I struggled with describing them – but got through it – W/we discussed deployment – the Four Watch Words. This is to become a mantra for U/us – And He indeed made me repeat them over and over after defining them.

GraceSimple elegance or refinement of movement / Do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one’s presence

DignityThe state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.

Servicethe action of helping or doing work for someone / Employment as a servant.

 Verb:  servicing – mate with / vulgar slang – have sexual intercourse with

Humility – A modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness.

The first three are a lot easier to me than that last one, let me tell you. Humility (bolded for a reason) is my arch enemy. It was the elephant in the room but that was no more where Syn was concerned. He was going to deal with it Head-On.

I am a stubborn one. I am very independent as it has been more of a survival issue for me. I have goals and in getting to those goals sometimes (ok most times) I don’t care how I get there even if it is not safe on my personal well-being.

Remember at the beginning I had mentioned about the at ease pose that He revised for me? It is much easier on my legs, and I was still stubborn – AFTER – He told me to I could switch sides at any time to be more comfortable. He kept asking how my legs were doing, and they were all right, I kept saying. Obviously not – knowing how I am. I have no idea why I said that – in a sense I didn’t want to appear weak and not be able to do something He asked or need a variation.

There was also the situation of not asking for water when I knew I needed some. Or tell Him that I was collected when I was definitely not – being dizzy when I sat up. So to reiterate I am as stubborn as an ox.

My last lesson of Monday was Humility – to have some – know my limits. I don’t want to have that lesson again – though I know I am strong-willed and it could happen again.

Having a bare bottom spanking is not always enjoyable people… and it went along with a flogging. I was thankful it was over bent over the table with arms forward and not over His knee. He still had a firm hold down on my back to smack my bottom…stinging yet oddly comforting at the same time.

On top of this and all the other lessons yesterday, the big one that stuck out was that Syn is NOT a Service Top. I have been testing waters since the beginning, seeing what I could “get away with”.  Yep – definitely NOT a Service Top – something I was more used to. I always can get my way with people; I am good at Topping from the bottom – even in my vanilla life. This time I am out of my comfort zone however I have accepted this. He wouldn’t be the Man I love if He was anything like the others before Him.

In being in a relationship with Him – these last few months I have grown as a person and see the true me sneaking out. I am not always going to like it – and I will likely continue to fight it – as that is my Nature.

And in saying that – Syn is a sadist Bastard (sorry Sir but you know it is true) at times. W/we are into each other’s minds and W/we play off each other so well. It is the best dance I could be in the middle of and I never want the music to end.  

Thank You Sir for the Dance.


lucidsyn says:

I will Dance with you my little fae, willingly and for as long as I can. We may Miss a step here and there, but as long as we are together. ❤

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