Seldom Seen Way











{March 10, 2014}   The unpost that turned into a post.

You know those times when you want to write but have absolutely no idea what about… it was one of those days. I had that very  feeling when I got home from spending time with Syn …it was a very busy night considering my day only started at 3:30pm.

W/we had gone to a coffee that offsets Munch every other week. It was actually a nice relaxed group and visit; however I kept having a nagging thought in the back of my head.

You know that feeling of looking forward to something and dreading it at the same time. I didn’t know how I was going to answer Syn when He asks me if I am ready to serve Him that night. I definitely don’t enjoy that feeling of apprehension of how He might react to a < No, I don’t think I am ready>.

This is where the humility portion kicks in.

On Friday overnight shift turned into 12 hours of Hell for me. It is at times stressful enough wearing one hat at work – however that night I was wearing at least three.  I started at 8pm (thinking I should have had a nap beforehand) to end up working till 8:30am. By the time I got home, it was 9am… and sleep took till almost 11:45am to overcome me – as I was overtired. I got up a touch later and add a time change (move forward 1 hour) to my weekend.

So…

He asks the question that I am dreading all night Sunday.

<My little fae, are you ready to serve Me?>

I hesitated with the answer. I never hesitate. I want to serve Him.

Instead all I wanted was Him and to have a play date. I wanted to be Selfish.

I could tell by the way He asked it that He is also not in the head space for Training that night. I was so relieved about not feeling good enough to serve Him.

I think W/we both just needed a release last night. I definitely knew I needed that Release.

Pain isn’t always a pain. Sometimes it can actually feel good. Playing for me is exactly this – Pain equates to Pleasure. I crave this, even more than I want to admit.

For me enjoying pain is natural as long as it does not work in the manner of stubbing a toe or Charlie horse, Hell even punishment is lumped in with that. That is something entirely different for me.

Pleasure from Pain is the feeling it ultimately gives me and the bonding/trust I feel for Syn. I need to not think about anything but the thuds, snaps, stings and buzzing on my back, my arse, and upper legs. The warmth I receive on my buttocks, the flush on my face and the wetness of my pussy is very powerful and addictive. Seeing Him from the corner of my eye can be intoxicating for me. The sweat that is coming off his head, the swing of His arms, and then when He lays on my back, growls into my ear, and calls me His dirty fucking whore, I can’t help but want to give Him more of myself. I want to bare His marks and bruises. I take pride in them all.

This play which He and I engage in is often a prelude to sex. I do definitely get turned on by being spanked and flogged, but that is as much because of my connection with Syn as anything. W/we both need it to recharge and bond with each O/other. At that point I want to do anything I can to get as close to Him as humanly possible. It never seems to be enough.

It is a lot like a roller coaster, though I am definitely scared of heights; I think this replaces it. It gives me the Pleasure I am addicted to. Hell, it is a lot safer than taking drugs!

This apparently is not a post of absolute nothing now that I am several paragraphs into it. He is what I need and want. It is about Communication and Respect. It is about Honesty and Trust.

And most of all – It is a post of the Love that I have for Syn.

Advertisements


What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
The Leather Mermaid

Musings of a slave

Beautifully Broken Submissive

Writings about my life as a wife, a submissive, a Pagan, a mother, a daughter, a lover, a student, an educator, a fighter and a peacemaker. Blessed be ⭐❤⭐

Julia Billingsley

Head Full Of Sunshine

The Ninth Life

It's time to be inspired, become encouraged, and get uplifted!

Sheep, Shotguns, Soapboxes and Shitshows

Musings with Happy Bedford, the angry sheep rancher

The Wacky World of Rita

. . . it is what it is

Sublimefemme Unbound

The unadorned intensity of queer femininity

Living With X

BDSM - Its not a lifestyle, its our life.

whipschainsducttape

BDSM~ Learning, Loving and Connecting

Slut, Ph.D.

That's "Dr. Slut" to You

An Alternative Road to Happiness

Join me as I journey through the foreign lands of polamory and D/s to find happiness.

Dancing the Path

A journey of self descovery for a real BDSM submissive

One Slaves Perspective

Living the Lifestyle One Wish at a Time

Enigmatic Amor

Kinky and Curvy

thekinkyworldofvile

This blog contains themes of an adult nature. It is intended for audiences 18 or older. This blog is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. If you are offended by nudity, explicit sexual material, or images of BDSM then this is not the blog for you. Have a great day!!

CinnamonAndSparkles

Cinnamon bites and kisses simultaneously. Vanta Bonna

On A Magic Carpet Ride

Lex's explorations, questions, wonderings, chaotic and usually confusing thoughts laid bare.

Slave Space

A Community For Sharing & Caring

Abezure's Journal

A life in a mixed up two spirited person.

domination submission

The BDSM world of Master P

%d bloggers like this: