Seldom Seen Way











{March 19, 2014}   Touchy Subject in the World of Kink – Being Judgmental

You’ve probably have heard about judging being bad.  But is it really true?

Judging I think is a necessary part of life.  It only becomes bad if one judges without the intent to reform that judgement as new information is presented. I believe that it is okay to judge others; it is part of our nature, part of our survival. My point is judgement are neither good nor bad. They are a necessity, a tool to be used, sharpened, and changed.

I bring this up because W/we have a friend that thinks people judge too much on others in the “Lifestyle”.  The particular person W/we were discussing is (in O/our opinion) making bad choices this time in her life. W/we actually had a really good round the table conversation based on her choices and what it could mean to her, her family, her children, and future relationships just a couple of weeks ago.

I can’t go into much detail the decisions this person has made – however today W/we saw another reason to really question her thought process on certain things.

And I am honestly tired of hearing the “what their kink is may not be necessarily your kink” sermon.  Personally I think there is kink…and then there is fucking stupidity.

I know W/we are guilty as a couple of judging. W/we do it while sitting having coffee and people watch, driving in the car and commenting about something W/we just witnessed and strolling through the malls. To U/us it does not matter if it is Vanilla or Not.  

A lot of people say that judging is bad…but what I usually see are those same people that say that to judge is bad might not judge on looks, but they still judge; whether on friendliness, achievements, openness or talents.

But whatever you judge on, many still judge based on their core values.

I personally create a preliminary hypothesis of who a person is, all the while keeping in mind that it may be necessary to revise my original judgement. If one does not do this then one is in danger of being prejudice. Which we all know is a misjudgement in itself. 

So the question is to You   <Is judging people good or bad?>

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lucidsyn says:

As you have covered most of our thoughts on Judgment, I will say this: Judgement is Neither good, nor bad….it is part of the process of getting to know someone. If for example I think that person A is not physically attractive, that is a form of Judgement suited to determining if there is a possibility of physical attraction. Is that part of the negative connotation of judgement ? because if that is the case, then EVERYONE who makes the same physical deduction upon first meetings, is guilty of it. On the other hand if I was to say – person A isn’t physically attractive to me, but they’ve got a GREAT personality, makes me judgmental on their physical appearance and not other attributes….is it an all or nothing thing ? just my 2c. None the less – very well put and written. ❤



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