Seldom Seen Way

{May 21, 2014}   One of those days, weeks, month.

Lately I have feeling down in the dumps – I have no reason to be though. The energy it takes to get up for the day is becoming a chore. All I know is that it happens at times, and I need to go with the flow.

I am thinking it is due to the fact that tonight is one of my minion’s last night working. It isn’t that I will be missing him per say – more of how much work it is to replace the position. It means I have to deal (more like badger) with HR to get what I want…this is where the Alpha part of me kicks in. It also means that my flexibility for the next month is nil. I will have to miss a couple of Munches unless I get my overnight person to trade places with me. I don’t think that should be a problem though. Unfortunately I will be missing Munch this week because a day person is off for 3 days for bereavement – meaning down 2 people with a Team (both AM and PM) supposed to be consisting of 6.

I am going to be run ragged – being a Supervisor and doing the minion’s job as well. That means very busy nights and longer hours – while I am trying to replace him.

There is one person I can count on, and that is Syn always there for me…being that ear and shoulder to lean on. His goal for most days is to see/get me to smile and/or laugh.

Every day – at times a few times a day – He tells me I am beautiful – though I never feel it. Some days (okay, most days) I have to admit that I have to force a Thank You when it is said. It is becoming just rote to say it (for me – not Him I should clarify) However the ones I really know He truly means it – are the times that W/we are just sitting and talking… suddenly He just pauses…looks at me intensely, cocks His head and says “Fuck – you are beautiful.” Usually followed by an “I am a lucky man”. The tone and look says it all – those are the moments I look forward to most. He really does believe I am beautiful.

It makes me feel all warm inside, that I am truly Loved for who I am. Whatever is making me feel down and out melts away.

Today, as W/we sat in the Park – I gave Him a quick peck – said I love You… He returned it… and then put my head on His shoulder. I can’t tell you how happy I felt – not wanting to move and enjoy that moment. I was where I was supposed to be. I don’t want to be anywhere else – I want to be with Syn. I can’t wait for more time in the Park – to be able to lay with my head on Him while W/we read and bask in the sun.

I may have gone off topic – then again – I really didn’t have a topic for this post. It just comes down to me – happy in the knowledge that I am Loved by a Man who is and will always be there for me, that Loves me with all His being and that I will always be Beautiful to someone – Him. 


walking the path with another makes the journey beautiful – even when it’s messy. glad you have footsteps besides yours.

abezure says:

Sad to hear. Sounds like the typical do less for more attitude of companies.

seldomseenway says:

I love my job – it is just when this happens – I have to deal with more stupid more than usual. Thankfully this doesn’t happen that often…the other supervisor is moving her shift around – but honestly – I will get more done when she is gone for the day. She believes she is helping me out… I will likely send her home. My longer days will come when I have to go in earlier to deal with interviews. Working the PM shift has its advantages at times – in this case – when I am down a person… not so much.

abezure says:

You just have to hold your head up, trudge forward and like you say deal with it the best you can. At least you have Syn

lucidsyn says:

Never a moment goes by that I don’t realize just how beautiful you truly are my little fae, inside and out. We will get past this stretch as we always do: Togther. ❤

seldomseenway says:

I know You will be always there Sir… thank You.

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