Seldom Seen Way











{September 25, 2014}   Voice.

Lately I have noticed something about myself. I seem to be losing my voice…however it isn’t because of Sir…I think it is more because of me. I have been more and more talking through Him instead of actually making a point of commenting on pages, or group discussions W/we are a part of.

 

We have great conversations together, yet I don’t make the effort to write my thoughts. Yes sometimes my thoughts are all over the place, and it can take a touch to put them in coherent sentences, but I have been slacking on that. It is easier to let Him write as He is more eloquent than I with the wordy things. Sometimes when I do want to write, He beats me to it – and then I don’t want to sound like I am just repeating what He is saying – as it can appear as if I don’t have a thought on my own.

 

Trust me, I am a vocal person – when the need arises… and the topic is something I am very passionate about. I can’t help wondering why I am doing it. It seems that even other subs/slaves rather talk to a Dom/Master and get information than a peer, as if what They will say will be so profound and earthshaking… and The be-all and end- all.

 

I am not sure if it is because now I am identifying as a slave instead of a sub and subconsciously I think that is my place to speak through Him and not appear to have thoughts of my own.

 

I left a group recently because I was getting frustrated from the feed posts from another person and instead of writing what I know – and scared that I may offend them (as it seems to be the easy thing to do I find), I “ran” away.

 

I came back because I really couldn’t stay away – some of my favourite people are in this group and their combined intelligence, as I am a sucker for that sort of thing.

 

I could remove the individuals that annoy me – however I find that tends to get a tad messy as to explain the why. I just need to learn to grow a thicker skin, ignore the blatant inexperience and stupidity.

 

Anyway – this is something that has been rattling around in my head and needed to get out so I can finish my night without too much cloudy residue escaping.

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I can relate, SSW. I do this too, of my own accord. M has no interest in having me be silent, yet I find myself deferring to his pint if view, his way, or even what I think he would like or want, even when he would have my opinion or view be heard.

I fairly certain I know why I do it. I hope you find resolve and peace.



seldomseenway says:

It is interesting that just in the last month or so I have been doing it more and more… Sir on the other-hand rather I would speak up… I hope I can figure out and push through it soon 🙂 Thank you for relating… sometimes I think I am alone as I don’t speak to many other subs/slaves



My pleasure. I’m around…feel free to chat anytime.

Kay



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