Seldom Seen Way

{October 22, 2014}   Change Really Sucks…

I love my routines. It is the way I function in the world. I have been quite spoiled with them.

My issue: Sir is working full-time – opposite shift that I am currently doing.

I am having a hard time being motivated to get out of bed and start my day minus my daily ~before work coffee ~ with Sir. It sounds silly to many – however I could always count on it to happen. This is the one time I know I get to see Him 1-2 hours prior to me going to work – it was consistent. I live for that.

Because I don’t have my “security blanket” of the coffee, I notice I want to stay in bed, hug my Grumpy Cat, tuck under the blankets and read from my tablet. I know I need to be functional eventually by 4 pm to go to work however it doesn’t take long to sneak in squats (which I need to be a touch better at) and a shower.

It isn’t that I am not an independent person any other time of the Day…it is that I know that I get to just Be when Sir is there. I don’t have to put on the Mask that 85% of the population sees. People in general frustrate me as I am sure I frustrate them.

My day to day life with my own Life, Children and Work is me always on the go, being in charge, making those decisions that decides how/what/where/when/why to the rest of the people in my Days.

Being with Sir lets the voices in my head go silent for a while or at least minimizes them to a dull roar. And getting used to the voices all day is getting to me finally.

Next week is my holiday week – it will be time with Sir… I can’t wait…and then we need to put a plan in place so that I am able to handle the no Sir time that I am craving – to keep my mind more focused. I actually can’t wait for this – I love tasks – sadly. It is a way to relax for myself.

Change in this case is not a bad thing – just something I need to get used to. It is a positive change in order for both of us to move forward… together.

Life changes – I understand this – We will figure this out for Us and hopefully keep both our sanity in check.

I see that I have gone all over the place on this post. It will have to do – Brain and fingers are not cooperating as I wish them to.

Hopefully my next note will be a little more upbeat.


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