Seldom Seen Way

{May 19, 2015}   Being Monogamous

For me, that word was a curse word… I haven’t been monogamous since I started into the world of dating/marriage. I hated the word commitment – yet I was always committed to the people I dated – notice I said People… not one person. When people spoke of me – commitment phobia was mentioned on more than one occasion – Because in their monogamous world I had issues.

Yesterday at supper with Sir, I sat there, looked across the table, and realized – this is the only monogamous relationship I have had – just over 6 years. What the hell is wrong with me? Where did I go wrong? And a Holy Fuck.
You know what:

**NOTHING** is wrong with me – I love that Man – I haven’t needed anything/anyone as much as I need Him and what He brings to this relationship. However – There is one thing that He is not able to provide – and that is because He is a Man. I do miss having a Sister/a female Lover. If I don’t get that from this relationship – you know what – I would be alright with that. I have Him.

I **NEVER** went wrong – I did everything right by staying with Him and respecting His wishes on being monogamous. It has allowed me to really get to know Him – all of Him without splitting up my time for other people. The Focus has always been US. And yes **Holy Fuck** – I love that fact.

Now that we are looking to add to our relationship, I find myself on the other side of the fence, the one looking for that unicorn instead of being the unicorn. It is a hard transition for me – more than I like to admit.

I want to find and Share my Master with someone that will appreciate, love and trust what I see in my Master. The person doesn’t even need to be a slave or a sub, yet it would be an easier as they would know what to expect from our relationship. I just want someone that we can both enjoy a Friendship first, and if more comes of it – awesome.

I want them to see and feel what I do with this Man. I could list many more things, however I would likely write a novelette.

He accepts me – as me. And He is Him – all of it – I see all of Him allowing me to peek in His head and His heart.

I love His voice – it makes me shiver with anticipation, and goes right deep into my soul. His low whispers still are in my head several hours later.

We are deviant together and His fantasies/dreams blend with mine. And the fact that what I am thinking doesn’t scare Him off – it encourages Him.

And in saying that – He wants to push boundaries with me – being in a comfy zone is good, however sometimes you need that one person willing to go that extra little bit.

I believe in Him, and that I trust Him with my Life and my Heart – knowing that I am always safe with Him. He would protect me with His own Life. He is a very loyal Man.

He loves to Learn – and will allow me to teach Him things, even if it is really of no interest. A good example would be gardening.

I love the way He sings – sometimes off-key just to get a reaction from me – He shows me that it is alright to be a big kid and be silly. He always wants to be the one to get a smile out of you.

He knows when to call me His little fae, babygirl, good girl or His little one just at the right moments. He is attuned to what I need.

I love when I drop Him off at home; He reaches over to give a kiss goodnight, a light touch on my breast and neck. My insides and my head are drunk with passion – wanting more from Him. And this after several years later, I find it more intoxicating. I forget that the rest of the world exists. Time stops.

He always wants to be a Team – just remember He is still the Leader though – the balance we have as a couple makes for a stable relationship.

He is always Present with me. I think this is one of the most important things to this relationship – Not being or re-living the Past. We only need to Learn from the Past.

Why would I not want to share with with another Person? I want them to enjoy, love and be Loved as much as I am.

I can’t wait for what the Future brings us. Be it that it is only us for the rest of our Lives, or a play partner sprinkled here and there or find someone that I can share all that I love about this Man for years to come.


[…] My Little fae recently posted about our Hunt for a Unicorn, and how she is feeling about it, and I must say I am thunderstruck at that post, it is an honor to see just what she thinks of me, and how much she values our relationship in her own words. […]

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