Seldom Seen Way

{September 1, 2015}   Simple task – not so simple.

I dropped Sir off at work – and His one task for me was to go home and nap.

You can see how well that is going.

It isn’t easy to turn off my head – my emotions, yes…brain, no.

It is not only my thoughts that swim up there, it is hard to explain to people – so I rarely do.

I know this is cryptic to people reading – however there will be a couple that will know. Also note this post is ALL over the Place – just like my head 😉

At times it is easier to just say “I’m tired” and hope they think it means physically (and for the most part they do).

This “tired” doesn’t allow sleep. On average the last few weeks, I have been getting less than 5 hours a sleep a day – likely less. My fit-bit doesn’t help when it tattles on me and confirms it. I say less as it calculates sleep as being still in bed and not counting my waking hours reading on the tablet – or watching/feeling Sir sleep.

Presently my head is pounding, more than it was last night.

I am still not content. There are still things in the air – not understood or be willing to understood.

I may bitch about getting older, though I do not bitch about the experiences I have had to get to where I am today. Many of them I would not wish upon another and it has taken me a few years to unlearn habits that got me into those situations.

If I haven’t had them – I would not be with Sir. I would have continued to take the wrong path and not realize a better one.

I now try to take a positive lesson from people I meet – even if the time with them was not what I had expected.

Communication I found is the key – on BOTH sides. We can’t all read minds/body language. We can’t all know things. Things do not always fall in your laps without a consequence (good or bad).

If you cannot say no – you are more harmful to yourself than anything else in the World. You have no self worth, self respect and very selfish in thinking that someone else is going to know what is best for you. A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.

My brain is getting very sore – I need to stop writing. Perhaps Sir is right and I need to attempt a nap.


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