Seldom Seen Way











{September 28, 2015}   The Path of Happiness.

**Please note sporadic post ahead – proceed with caution**

***I haven’t had a coffee – however the brain won’t let my thoughts come clearly to my Fingers but I need to write**

You know it is going to be a great day when you start it off waking up to Your Sir fondling you, giving Him a blow job and getting fucked in the ass. Since I was still horny after He asked how I was – He went all “UFC” on my ass, as He sat on my legs so I couldn’t move. Interesting enough – say 5 years ago – that would have been a HUGE no-no for me. Yesterday – it was a HUGE turn-on and felt really good in all my places (hehe)

Punching of any kind would make me turtle quickly…however since FFG – I have been getting better – as long as I don’t see it coming. At FFG – He cunt punched me – apparently I really love this – and everything near me becomes wet (squirter)…and we found out another way of doing it – is doing it on my ass.

It is something He likes doing – rough body play and something that I used to avoid because once upon a time I used to be the punching bag and not in a consenting manner. He knows this and was always conscious of it – even to a point that if we found someone that enjoyed that type of play – it would be encouraged for Him to play with that person.

There are many things in my Life I need to “get over” and one of them is this. My past can’t rule over me – I need to take my own advice and grow from it. Notice I used the word is and not was. There are still aspects of it that will make me turtle… anything that might hit my face – I don’t want to explain black eyes anymore, and in the stomach – as that made me bend over in pain – knowing that the next thing that would have been a hand on the back of my neck pushing me down to the ground…next the verbal and possibly a kick. As I type this – I am holding back a lot emotionally. You know it isn’t a good situation when you rather take your own Life than let another do it on their terms.  I know all of that was not something I wanted and was done in Anger. A little of this Sir knows, a little He may not – because I avoid this conversation not just out loud but in my head too.

Please note – I did see a therapist for years – this is one of many reasons – this was not the first reason – this came out a few years into it.

There is a “little” bit of background – more than most get.

Now to the present Living:

I am sitting here very happy. Happier than I have been in years (and I am referring to the time BEFORE Sir). I have been in many relationships however I never gave as much as myself to them – I always kept bits and pieces out – as it was the easiest to do. I never got really emotionally attached to others if I could help it. I enjoyed what I could from them (hedonist) and nothing more. I didn’t want to spend my entire Life with them, give up anything, change the way I do things, or invest myself into their Lives.

What I did was ensure that person(s) was going on the Path that was meant for them – minus me – prepare them for another person. If they needed more confidence, I helped with that. If they needed a push to do something – I was there to push them etc – I just didn’t get emotionally attached.

I know I hurt a couple of them with this – however that is my Karma that is going to be hit with it – and believe me I know it got back at me a few times.

I did something Right somewhere down the road though – It brought Sir back to the Living and threw Him in my Path again. This time we were both in better places – and we have been together ever since – helping each other move forward in Life.

I have been thinking about Us more and more since I moved into His home a month and a half ago. I know what I have been missing in my previous marriage, and my previous relationships. I love US. I love Us Together. And this is before you add the M/s and S/m play into it. Those just add to our relationship and make it even stronger.

I know I have been looking at Him a lot lately and at times He catches me.

Sir asks me “what are you thinking about my little fae?”

I am Happy Sir – very very happy.

“I am too my little fae”

This makes me grin even more – because I do not have any other words for it – all I can do is repeat the sentence, hug and kiss Him and grin even more.

I am finally getting what I want out of a relationship, out of Life, out of myself (for the most part – we all can’t be perfect), and we are Together.

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