Seldom Seen Way

{March 9, 2016}   Not sure where this is going…brain full.

i am feeling pretty useless right now… and not because i am sick or such…

i get this way at times… right now it doesn’t help that i am in the middle of hiring a part-time evening person. This wrecks havoc on my world…in small ways that eventually hit me square in the face.

i look like i am permanently wearing Goth make-up on purpose…the black under my eyes are horrid, the head aches are more frequent, and i just don’t want to get out of the bed.

i have been trying to keep myself busy around the house which really isn’t hard except it seems it is never-ending – then it becomes overwhelming. When you want to do ALL the things, and want them all done at once – yet you don’t know where to start.

This month, i have decided that i do need to take time everyday to myself – technology free…with 30 minutes of ACTUAL physical movement (that is not part of me running around the house cleaning). This is proving difficult however i am doing the best i can do with the crappy schedule ahead of me.

Sir did go for a walk with me on Monday around the block – damn wind doesn’t like me – yet we got it done. i am missing the walks with Sir, the general get out and move the butt type things. i need to get Sir out of the house more too…He needs to move more than His usual on His feet at work.

Food is my downfall right now…either i want to eat EVERYTHING… or i want to eat NOTHING. There is no in-between. The mood swings are getting hard to put in place too – i want to rage or i do…at times i think Sir thinks i am fucking crazy. Please note, i do not rage at Him… just everything around me.

And when i do that… i just want to curl up in the bed – forget about everything. Now that i live with Sir, i cannot do this…however i think i need to wallow at times…cry as if i am alone….just to get it out of the system. Sure there are a few hours during the day after i drop Him off a work…except that time when i get back to the house is already allotted.

Well this post got away from me…i should finish the order that is in front of me…otherwise my phone will be ringing to interrupt the quiet i actually have been getting these nights at work.





Xtac says:

The more I am around my slave, the more I believe she needs some free time. I am thinking you just confirmed that.

seldomseenway says:

i had been living separate from Sir for seven years… and i am a HUGE introvert – i miss those little freedoms – if you want to call them that. The “technology-free” time is getting better, and i believe are helping. i am reading more, and wanting to add more like play music again (as in instruments). Sometimes i think we as slaves have to be and do everything. In reality – time is not our friend and it would break us more for the worse not the good.

i hope this has helped you 🙂

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