Seldom Seen Way

{July 30, 2017}   Quote

“A slave’s life is mostly composed of patience and study. Yes, study. If not with actual books, then following the example of greater, senior slaves. Or learning every nuance of their owner’s character, so that they can more completely and seamlessly offer themselves at the right time and
in the right manner. ”

— Laura Antoniou, “The Marketplace”


{July 29, 2017}   Overdrive

Or at least only my brain is. It is 530am and I need sleep. The last couple of weeks I knew something like this would happen. I would fall asleep to only end of waking after an hour and a half… Then attempt to fall asleep again, this time for 3 hours.

Tonight however, my brain knows I am now on holidays till the 8th. You would think I could relax…but nooooo, that would be too easy. Now all I am doing is thinking of all the things that need to be done at home, for both weekends we are “away”, and what will I have to do when I get back to work.

My body on the other hand is tired and sore. I took a couple of pills hoping it will help me calm down enough to get a few hours before Sir gets me up.

I am hoping writing this will help my brain to quiet down enough to keep the noise to a light roar.


{July 28, 2017}   In a small kink community…

“sloppy” seconds seem to happen a lot – more than i wish to admit. It also means that you know people in ways that others don’t initially.

And watching some of the interactions that are happening in front of you – you want to vomit.

The over “acting” (the facade) while watching said interactions is so fucking unbelievable.

And knowing what a person is like and seeing them make a complete ass out of themselves to “impress” is quite sad – hoping they would have learned something from past mistakes

The part i wish they would learn is to be authentic and instead, they are basically putting on a show to receive any form attention.

i sincerely feel embarrassed for them and more so embarrassed that i had any form of relationship with them in the first place.

Thoughts for the evening.



{July 25, 2017}   Low day

i am feeling low in energy and spirit today. i want to write about what is going on with my days however it seems i -might- offend people if they -think- it is about them.

There is nothing tragic, just patiently waiting for my vacation coming up starting this Saturday. As it is, the weekend is non-stop from the looks of it right now. Also adding to it is news from -e- concerning venue issue for MAsT come September. We need to find a new home.

Anyway, i should drag my arse and get the dispatch done at work. There is many changes happening here to add to my stress – and that includes hiring another person. To be honest i am happy that one of the minions is transferring to the other Plant. It is just causing a bit of chaos for me.




{July 15, 2017}   Sometimes i wish…

-had no responsibilities except to stay home and be a greedy little girl – to always be a plaything and enjoy being the hedonist that i am…

– no dishes to wash because you ate finger food

– no laundry because there were no clothes to wear

– no litter boxes to clean – cause they can do that shit outside LoL

and as i am typing this, i am waiting for the dishes to finish washing so that i can dry and put more in, there is a load of laundry washing while the ones that are needed to be folded are on the table waiting for me, and the assholes litter box apparently needs to be cleaned out again.

Now back to reality… Laters.





I went to the gym with Sir today… and after the initial panic attacks, small frustration in our bedroom and welling of tears in the eyes, body fidgeting, and eye darting… i got through it.

i am grateful that this one is 24 hours and that i will not have to be surrounded by people all the time. i just wish the yoga classes were in the afternoon. They are either EARLY in the morning (sleeping time) or later in the evening (working time). Now instead i need to figure out how to do more of it at home. The oldest daughter Belle had a couple of ideas to help –  i will try that first.

The goal i have is to build strength back into my legs again. It was more of a matter of being consistent.

i am just tired – and i don’t like it. It is time to change it.


{July 7, 2017}   False Advertising.

I believe many people false advertise themselves to the point that the people they surround themselves with start believing the same crap that you feed them. Those people help with the “Lie” and breath Life into it.

They exist only because their egos are being stroked, their confidence is being bolstered and they finally feel they belong.

Sadly, they do not realize there comes a point where that will come crashing down around them. Or they know it will, and pray that no one will figure out the charade they are playing.

I feel sorry for them. Karma can be a bitch… I know, I have seen it first hand – and it wasn’t me she was gunning for.

That is my thought for the day.

Be well,



et cetera
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