Seldom Seen Way

{February 27, 2017}   First Day of the Next Year.

This weekend was most likely the best celebration of my yearly event. There was nothing crazy and wild going, no birthday beatings or being spoiled with useless material items.

It was a weekend that made me smile and have tears at the end of it of happiness.

It started off at home at 9 am, when i told my oldest daughter that i would pick her up from the dealership as she was getting some recall work done on her truck. The only thing with that time is that i wasn’t done work until 2:30 am, and finally got home closer to 3. Knowing how i am and going to sleep it was closer to  5 am for me.

Anyway, i picked up Belle and brought her to the house. And i went to lay back down for a couple of more hours to feel better rested.  She took the time to continue cleaning out the bedroom that she had most of Life stored in since June (she just bought a house with her Partner just before Yule and still doing some reno’s)

She also decided to tidy up, put away the dishes that were in the dishwasher, clean up the coffee bar, and wash floors so that i could enjoy the time off without worrying about what i need to do when we get back. That was a great gift – to alleviate some of my anxiety and allow me to relax on that front.

Apparently, we didn’t get to leave as early as we wanted due to the dealership not calling to tell her they didn’t have the parts. We made it work, though, it meant shopping was a Sunday thing instead.

We drove into the City and got to Sir L and el’s place about 7 pm – giving us time to have a quick visit and a couple of drinks to start the evening. Sir had picked out my outfit for the most part and said sensible shoes (smart man LoL). He corseted me up (which is a favourite time with Him now that He is pretty proficient with it) and away we went.

Please note – this is what i can remember LoL – if i forget anything or anyone – i apolgize now as there was so much going on 🙂

Arriving at Subwoofer, the wonderful Miss J was at the door and greeted us as she appeared to be taking a break from Bootblacking. Taking our usual seats in the back corner, we noticed how quiet it was for the time…however, that changed quickly and people we recognized were wandering in. Snug and her partner sat with us until the rest of their crew showed up. It was good to sit and talk with those two.

All in all – It was an awesome night, as i was dreading a bit to going (only a few people know to the why), and had to tell myself to let things go and have fun.  And fun i had. i was talking to one person about corsets, and another on Life in general as a slave and our “pasts”. i got to watch Miss J black Sir’s boots which look awesome by the way. We had a great conversation with Miss J as that was happening (note to self to ensure we make time for Tea with Her when time permits). It was too bad we didn’t get to see Her girls.

A surprise visit from the other House as they wandered up to us. It was good to see Betty and her crew show up along with a couple of tag-a-longs.

i discovered a new shooter that i think is a new favourite – thanks to eius-socius, i now know what they are and love White Chinas. It was really good to be able to have one on one with her talking.

i got to see many yagger and white china shots that evening (thanks to all who contributed) and there was no complaining by me. There were several doubles of Green Apples to chase those down.

Sunday getting up hurt a touch – only because 11 am is -early- for me, other than that i was good. Breakfast was yummy, as el made french toast banana bread with a strawberry compote and chocolate syrup ❤

After cleaning up our room, showered, and say our goodbyes we went to the Mall. We wandered about as it has been close to a year since we have been. Sir bought me a new mug  (It is Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children) and a couple of shirts for Himself.

As it was getting late, we still needed to go to Betty’s House. Sir needed to help out with a virus thing on their laptop. It allowed a quick visit before we were on the road again.

The ride home was quiet and allowed us to contemplate the last couple of days…with random comments. You know that time when something you remembered and you just want to share little snippets – that is what i would call it.

Being at home and seeing our furry assholes signalled to me that i could relax and enjoy this vacation that started off great. To add to it, the other daughter came by too and did a couple of things (clean the fridge as one) to help out.

The bath was drawn with Epson salts to soak and then the jets came on, with bubble bath to agitate. It felt luxurious and Sir woke me from my small nap as i seemed to be taking awhile. It was then time for a hot tea and a bagel while we watched an episode of Bones before bed.

It was a weekend that i thanked Sir many times for – as He knows how i usually act the month or so and during my Birthday. i made an effort this year not to go into a low, and to enjoy what i have and who is in my Life.

i want to again to thank everyone that was there this weekend – you might not realize what you did, however just being there and taking time to share some of it with me – means more than i can tell you.

And you know what –  i am a blessed woman.

{February 25, 2017}   Countdown

Another hour or so and it is holiday time for me… a week of nothingness… or somewhat nothingness. It isn’t like i really sit still.

Tomorrow night we will partake in Subwoofer in the City and celebrate my birthday (Sunday). i am getting better at accepting my age if i say so myself. At least this year i am not in a low and spiralling.

Anyway, i better finish with these Japan orders and then the dispatch before i forward my pallet work home to do while it is quiet.



{February 9, 2017}   Loneliness

Jumbled thoughts – just trying to get out of the head – If it doesn’t make sense – that is alright – it makes sense to me.

Sometimes it would be nice to have “friends” and not just people you work with. To be able to have a social life here at home – just not wait till we go to the City either for MAsT or Subwoofer.

There is always Sir, and occasionally my children wander home… usually to wash their laundry and grab whatever food they see. I get a brief update on their lives.

When i see people or interact with (other than work), Sir is always with me. He gets to go to coffee munches if they are during the weeknights – i cannot. i feel left out and disconnected. And yes – i understand that i am jealous.

He gets to converse with a variety of people because of His job or people seek Him out there.

When i had young children i got out more and was more social than i do now. If i ever felt isolated it is more so as i am older and with my job.

i don’t have the luxury to go to anything that is planned in the evenings because i work – the other people we know are day walkers – i am not.

i know my interests are not the same as most women – or we just don’t know where to start a conversation.

Sir gets that intellect conversation via chat/emails from other women. It is something i actually crave.

What i get instead are messages from men that are directed by the head in their pants not the one on top of their shoulders. Men feel the need to flatter / objectify me believing that will get me to want to sleep with them or want to be their third. Or it will be the woman of the couple requesting the same thing. And when i try to direct the conversation to something other than sex, they disappear. NOT that i am against sex – i LOVE it – though i don’t want to start my first initial contact with you based solely on that. i love to know about the person.

i am thankful i have a Sir that does listen when i want to talk to Him – sometimes it takes a bit to form what i need to spit out. He speaks Dot very well LoL. There is more to this as the topic of poly came up. Right now i am not in a place to write about it. Perhaps in time or perhaps my brain will allow me to figure out things easier than it does.

Anyway, i really should finish my work that is on my desk…i do wish to go home and be with Sir. Hopefully He is feeling a touch better tonight.



{February 1, 2017}   Some Thoughts on Feminism…

“A feminist is a person who believes in the political, economic and social equality of the sexes. This is someone who will stand up when facing a misanthrope as much as when facing a misogynist. Speaking of misanthropy, that is the fancy word for hatred of men. Sometimes they wrongly self-label as feminists.”

Why does ‘feminist’ translate to ‘hate men’?!?!

Feminist is about wanting equality. It is sad when i see many people that yell from the mountain top that they are are a Feminist equates to becoming very Narcissistic. I find they make it all about them.

A good Master is an attentive Master. i still don’t understand why feminism and BDSM apparently cannot go together for some people.

i am a feminist.

Being submissive with Sir does not equal submissive in everything else in my Life, well at least not for me. The perceived loss of power is an imagined one.

i also wonder if it all just the thought that involves the man vs. woman power struggle. i am not only attracted to and engage with males; i have a love for humans in general no matter what you identify as.

When you do find someone whose desires match yours and you can work out what kinds of things you want to explore together – it becomes beautiful, scary and exciting all at the same time.

In saying all that,  i -choose- to give up my desire for ‘equality’ in a traditional sense, to -one- man, and serve Him as a slave so that He is my balance point by being the Dominant one in the relationship. Which becomes equality. For me.

He helps show me my true strengths, my true power as a woman and as a human being. In a very real sense, my submission helps me to become truly emancipated, to become a truly free person.

Furthermore, i don’t want anyone telling me how i am and/or not supposed to be a feminist or as a woman. We need to respect women’s rights to express themselves sexually, even if we find their choices troubling or do not understand their dynamic with their Partner. We should not judge them or try to protect them as if we are their concerned parents.

Ultimately feminists shouldn’t be afraid to enjoy sex in whichever form it comes in.


{January 18, 2017}   Read a new blog/post…

i just read a post, in my opinion, was very passive aggressive – considering that i know the person. This is their first post under this name.

As a writer, i think she will do well – minus that PA part that screams out from every paragraph. She is well written, uses proper grammar, and utilizes proper sentence structure.

i wish her the best – i do hope she will be more honest with herself, though. A journal is a great tool if you use it correctly.

{January 18, 2017}   Things Change as you Age…

However, Let us Look at it in a Positive Light.

“Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Today is my youngest Birthday – she is now 21 years old. And with this, i have been thinking a lot lately. The older you become many things are not like they are used…and of course, that is the way it should be.

Some people take change much easier than others, and i happen to be one of the “others”.

For me, that is why there is routine to help with things that can be more controlled in your Life – either through Sir or myself.

Unfortunately, the part about getting older i cannot change, i will be getting older every second of the day. As of late, i have trying to look for the positives in this.

My children are becoming my friends. It is nice to be able to sit and talk to them about things without someone getting butt hurt because I couldn’t get them something. They have a better understanding of what being an adult and becoming parents themselves entails.

Learn from my mistakes – and make better decisions because of it. This is especially important when it comes to health.

Knowing more people and have more resources than i did in my 20’s. There is always someone that i can reach out to if i am not sure of something.

The materials of Life – i don’t need a lot of “things” in my Life (ie. clothes) like i felt i needed before.

i judge people more on who they are – not what they have. Actions speak volumes.

i don’t always have to be right – I listen more to all sides – more to understand than to win.

My relationship is more mature – and i have learned what i want and need to do to have an awesome one.

i am really good at my job – years of working my ass off has paid off. And with it, more time and money to do the things i want and do without worrying if i can buy groceries to feed us the next week.

i am not worried (as much) about how i am looking as i did when i was in my 20’s. i am becoming more comfortable with myself.

i now dress for comfort LoL – high heels have fucked up my legs, and i am not scared what people will think when i wear a toque (at least I am warm)

i am not as ill as I used to get. i think my immune system is getting better because i am looking out better for myself as is Sir.

i am MUCH Happier now than i was in my younger years. It is nice to have people comment that to you out of the blue.

i have always had a great sex life – now it is awesome – because i know what i want/need and communicate it.

i am more thoughtful / logical in decisions or just my thought process analyzes better without getting all emotional – i notice this a lot at work compared with younger people.

Thankful i get to become older. You start to recognize your own mortality. It reminds me to prioritize what matters most to me each day.

{January 7, 2017}   Pretty Reminders

i know it has been a touch since i have written. It has been a crazy few months for us Both.

Life sometimes likes to complicate what you thought was going to happen, or when/where you get to go when you had a different freedom before. It has made us change a few things at home. The way we spend our time, our money, and our energies.

At first, it was hard, however, that time passes when you realise what you eventually gained. November and December was a good month of Family (blood and non) and having to slow down our Life to adjust. This has included the way we play. It has been good to put it into perspective.

Just yesterday, while at work, i had a few reminders of my last day or two. Nothing that would seem out of the ordinary, no huge wallops of bruised, broken or whipped skin.

You know those reminders when you just move a certain way. It becomes really apparent and you know they are there, being silent otherwise until an opportunity springs forward.

People forget that Play doesn’t always have to a staged event or one where it is quite obvious from your body that something went down.

These impromptu movements that pop up, either while you are both reading in bed, walking across the living room, in the shower, or bent over picking something up, become my favourites. It is those that remind me that at that moment, He was thinking of Himself and me – enjoying what is His and when He wants it.

One of those things was a bite mark in just the right place. The sweater could conceal it when i got up and had to walk around at work. The mark is just light enough but still visible. It stings if my finger grazes it, taking me to a happy place while we were showering. There is another bite mark just under my bra strap on my back. Again, if it just touched the right way…i grimace and then smile about the thought.


The invisible ouchies such as being cunt-punched (one of my favourite things), makes walking an interesting thing especially when you need to walk the Stairs of Death.

The muscles on your legs which got positioned into a way that it hasn’t been in awhile. Interestingly this reminds me to continue yoga. There has been slacking with this one due to hours or lack of hours in my days/nights.

The play while tiger balm was being applied to my legs and feet. It was a highlight due to the fact He wore gloves (hehe, huge fetish). He was able to rub the muscles, make me squeal in pain and delight – all the while doing it to help me. It also helped His Sadist Heart – which i am more than alright with.

That moment when you go fill up Sir’s cup with more coffee, and He is instantly walking behind you while you cross the room. He likes to grab from behind and bend me over to play…which in turn has me mopping the floor.

Yes, reminders that i carry around with me when i am needing a pick me up.

Reminder when i don’t think the shift will ever end because i just want to be with Him at home.

A Reminder that our Relationship on a whole is fucking awesome even 8 years later.


{January 3, 2017}   Motto – 2017

Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?
– L. M. Montgomery (1874-1942)

{December 28, 2016}  

“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.” -Yoda

{December 27, 2016}   The Force will be with Her. Always.


et cetera
Beautifully Broken Submissive

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