Seldom Seen Way











{May 4, 2017}   Topics.


{May 3, 2017}   Draft topics/titles:

Touch ago, i wrote that i have several drafts just waiting to be written – some of them have been sitting there for nearly a year. Some you can tell what they are obviously about, and there a few that the title is vague. All that really matters at this point is that i know what they concern. Many of them will not go beyond what you see now.

Fascinated by this and how it works: Herd mentality, or mob mentality, describes how people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviours. A group of 3 or more persons, who act with a negative group conscience to show strength in numbers.

The secrets that are entrusted to you and not bring them up so as to not hurt people you know. What it does to you and hope that you can trust others with your information. I found this apparently is not the case.

People tend to forget what you have done for them when they were in distress – and how it may affect the person/people dealing with their issues with them.

People are not always what they seem. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

What is a Master (to me)?

Insecurity, Character and how they align.

Accepting an apology the first time and letting it go.

Oddball. I feel like the one that doesn’t belong.

Being appreciated.

Owning your shit, and not take on other’s shit as your own to not deal with yours.

Great Weekend Getaway

The Instant Gratification Age

Romance comes in different ways.

A secret love affair…

Still Buzzing.



{February 9, 2017}   Loneliness

Jumbled thoughts – just trying to get out of the head – If it doesn’t make sense – that is alright – it makes sense to me.

Sometimes it would be nice to have “friends” and not just people you work with. To be able to have a social life here at home – just not wait till we go to the City either for MAsT or Subwoofer.

There is always Sir, and occasionally my children wander home… usually to wash their laundry and grab whatever food they see. I get a brief update on their lives.

When i see people or interact with (other than work), Sir is always with me. He gets to go to coffee munches if they are during the weeknights – i cannot. i feel left out and disconnected. And yes – i understand that i am jealous.

He gets to converse with a variety of people because of His job or people seek Him out there.

When i had young children i got out more and was more social than i do now. If i ever felt isolated it is more so as i am older and with my job.

i don’t have the luxury to go to anything that is planned in the evenings because i work – the other people we know are day walkers – i am not.

i know my interests are not the same as most women – or we just don’t know where to start a conversation.

Sir gets that intellect conversation via chat/emails from other women. It is something i actually crave.

What i get instead are messages from men that are directed by the head in their pants not the one on top of their shoulders. Men feel the need to flatter / objectify me believing that will get me to want to sleep with them or want to be their third. Or it will be the woman of the couple requesting the same thing. And when i try to direct the conversation to something other than sex, they disappear. NOT that i am against sex – i LOVE it – though i don’t want to start my first initial contact with you based solely on that. i love to know about the person.

i am thankful i have a Sir that does listen when i want to talk to Him – sometimes it takes a bit to form what i need to spit out. He speaks Dot very well LoL. There is more to this as the topic of poly came up. Right now i am not in a place to write about it. Perhaps in time or perhaps my brain will allow me to figure out things easier than it does.

Anyway, i really should finish my work that is on my desk…i do wish to go home and be with Sir. Hopefully He is feeling a touch better tonight.

 

 



{November 22, 2016}   DomSplained

When a -note- of the combined conversations/discussions of a night of MAsT on Consideration and Training is responded to by an individual who is obviously not from the area, nor understand what MAsT does … ends with her commenting after some dribble “Many people don’t do consideration or training periods. I never did it with my master. He’s been doing this since you were about eleven years old and has never done that consideration or treating with any of his relationships.”

The last line is what did it to me: “Why is it that I feel like I’ve just been DomSplained?” – You wish to bitch slap them. Good for you – I am glad it worked out for you.

The reason I say this is – I tend to read the profiles of the commenters – when you say one thing and read or do another, you do not become credible. It is interesting when your profile states one thing, and you read through it and find something else entirely – you were not considered? you didn’t train? I call bullshit – wait – your profile tells me that. Sockpuppet/troll accounts really piss me off.

I suppose she must know what we were discussing as a group – with the back and forth, and sharing. She must know what people were wanting to know, and wanted to ask – some afraid to even speak, yet got out of their comfort spot to do so.

If the information came off as DomSplaining… then I do not know what I can say – since I am definitely not a Dom and I was the one that put the notes together. There were a few websites sited and their words used – to give our members some links that may be helpful in their Life and Journey with TPE.

I am a little pissed off – and that is alright.

It was a good meeting with a lot of good information. I do hope that people got what they needed from it.

Edit (2 days later) : You definitely can tell i was agitated when i wrote this.



Sexual orientation is something that is hard to describe for yourself especially in this day and age where there are so many choices. i fall under the umbrella of Pansexual and have for several years and many of the relationships that i have had would reflect this. i am attracted to people regardless of their gender, sex or presentation.

Let us start with the definition of Sexual Orientation:

Sexual Orientation – (noun) the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one feels for others, often labelled based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to (often mistakenly referred to as sexual preference)

Sexual orientation is different from gender and gender identity — how you feel about and express your gender.

i have noticed that many people pick one and still do not really understand what or why they picked it.

 

Here is a quick list of some Terms with a definition to follow each:

i will leave a link to a great website for these and so many others as a reference if you have questions.

http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-term-definitions/#sthash.4YcPQEqL.dpbs

Aromantic – (adj) is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in forming romantic relationships.

Asexual – (adj) having a lack of (or low level of) sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest or desire for sex or sexual partners.  Asexuality exists on a spectrum from people who experience no sexual attraction or have any desire for sex to those who experience low levels and only after significant amounts of time, many of these different places on the spectrum have their own identity labels.

Bicurious – (adj) a curiosity about having attraction to people of the same gender/sex (similar to questioning)

Bisexual – (adj) a person emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to male/men and females/women.  Other individuals may use this to indicate an attraction to individuals who identify outside of the gender binary as well and may use bisexual as a way to indicate an interest in more than one gender or sex (i.e. men and genderqueer people).

Demisexual – (noun) an individual who does not experience sexual attraction unless they have formed a strong emotional connection with another individual. Often within a romantic relationship.

Gay – (adj) (1) a term used to describe individuals who are primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex and/or gender.

Genderqueer – (adj) a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman; or as an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). Genderqueer people may think of themselves as one or more of the following, and they may define these terms differently: may combine aspects man and woman and other identities (bigender, pangender); not having a gender or identifying with a gender (genderless, agender); moving between genders (genderfluid); third gender or other-gendered; includes those who do not place a name to their gender having an overlap of, or blurred lines between, gender identity and sexual and romantic orientation.

Heterosexual – (adj) a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex. Also known as straight.

Lesbian – (noun) a term used to describe women attracted romantically, erotically, and/or emotionally to other women.

Pansexual – (adj) a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions

Questioning (verb, adjective) – an individual who is unsure about or is exploring their own sexual orientation or gender identity.

Transsexual – (noun & adj) a person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies hormonally and surgically to match their inner sense of gender/sex.

Two-Spirit – (noun) is an umbrella term traditionally used by Native American people to recognize individuals who possess qualities or fulfill roles of both genders

 

As you can see, this is a small collection of terms that you will hear when you are out and about in the World. It can become confusing if you are unsure and that is alright.

 

 

 



{October 14, 2016}   Act of Engaging
***This is a post i started many moons ago.  It is just now that i am getting back to it – bits and pieces, here and there. ***

Yes, that word can get pretty messy sometimes.

i find it is the easiest way to deal with some individuals is not to engage them… as they do not get the hint, that the subject has been dropped. Basically – it is done – in my mind anyway. i am not going to waste any more time, and giving myself a headache.

i notice that with many friends of late, you can start engaging in a conversation, or situation that you know is going to blow up into something bigger than it should. And then you wonder…should i even continue.

For some people, it is like a fuel to the fire. They enjoy it in a sense… a slight high from it. You can actually see them getting off on it. The experience i have from this one was the ex-husband – it gave me a lot of practise to know how to deal with it – almost on a daily basis. You get really good at learning how to diffuse small fires before they become too big and consume everyone and everything around you.

i find these people like to monopolize time even when you are not with them. The time spent dealing with them… along with the time spent venting to your partner(s) or friends about them becoming an obsession sometimes with them. They steal your time and your energy – more than you even start to realize.

The one thing i love about being an introvert is that engaging with people is not something i seek out. i do not want to be the center of attention however, i do not want to be ignored entirely either. i will engage if i need to.

Not engaging in conversations that irk me or you can see the other person doing it for attention, pardon i will change that, doing it for validation makes me sad that a person has to do that to feel worthy.

Engaging with these type of people feels like you are going in a circular motion with no end coming. It does not matter what you say to them, it will never be enough, or it is too much and they end up taking something entirely something else from it. It appears to be always to be One extreme or another. They are never happy without having the Last Word – Whatever  and how that may be.

There is a subset of people i at times do want to engage with however their intelligence and emotional IQ being that it is low and/or get in the way of a good conversation, would in the end just frustrate me to get them to understand what i was willing to bring to the conversation.

When i talk about these people, i usually am referring to people who are religion / political zealots, and managers/supervisors whose heads are too big –  actually anyone that feels they have any amount of Power over you (and no, i am not talking about someone you submit to WILLINGLY.)

There are still moments that i open up my mouth when i know i should not – though it is rare these days. i instantly regret doing it, and attempt to back out before i make it worse for all parties. The ones that make it the hardest, are the persistent ones… they do not know enough to leave it be.

Sometimes words are not needed and Learning that pushing will not solve/make better a situation every time. You need to accept that. You are not always going to feel better when you do it. You are not always going to get the reaction that you are hoping.

Engaging is an Art at times. Just be prepared for the Outcome – whatever it may or not be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



{August 31, 2016}   Been avoiding…

i have been avoiding this forum to write – there is so much going on in our Family that sometimes it seems  overwhelming to lay it out here. Sir has posted to help Him to sort His brain out.

For me, it is just little things – for Him it seems to be small things, piling on top of other things – and the big things are attempting to balance on top.

Sir and i are well between us. Thankfully that is something we are good at keeping in a good place. It is everything else surrounding us.

It seems Sir doesn’t get a moment to breathe before He needs to deal with the next dilemma/drama/issue at hand. When He goes to sleep – it takes Him a touch to get to slumber land – and it is not a restful one. Trust me – i watch and listen to Him throughout the night.

Yesterday i had Sir write (AND YES, i HAD Sir write) – He needed to do it – for His sanity and everyone else that is connected to Him. i need to take care of Him and i was running out of options. His well-being is being compromised, and you can see little bits of Him being pulled in many directions – some are good and the others not so much.

i am hoping today at work – it is really busy and He doesn’t have time to think – or really quiet – as He will clean to relax/semi think.

So yeah – that is why i have been “quiet”. i did have a great weekend – and when everything settles – i may get to writing about it. However at this time – i need to be there for Sir ❤

AND From the cries of Einstein – it appears i need to feed the Feline Overlords – as they are starving. Perhaps i will also get the sun-room wall finally cleaned.

 



{August 17, 2016}   Private blog posting.

Earlier last night, i blogged a private post – one that i was not going to post at all.

Sir knows me a touch too well – and the way it was going – i was scared to have Him read it – His stress was quite evident when i picked Him up from work. i didn’t want to burden Him anymore than i needed to with my Stupid Brain.

He asked if all is good – as i was more quiet than usual – i honestly can’t remember how i responded… again He asked further down the road. i let Him know i did in fact blog – didn’t want to bother Him about it. He just told me it was His job to be “bothered” with it.

We got home, and i went to the bedroom to get ready for work…He read the post – He wandered back to the Bedroom – He held me.

From that moment, i knew it was good to tell Him – i didn’t need that hanging on my head all night into the next day. He did what He needed to reassure me…which i really needed at that moment.

Long story Short:

The most important thing i am to remember is – It is His main job to take care of me so that i can take care of everything else. He can’t help to make it better if i do not tell Him – and not to forget that.

“Yes, Sir!”



{July 12, 2016}   Grumpy Cat.

i really do not like starting my work day in a foul mood – which in turn continues to be due to other people compounding on my already sour deposition.

Your problems are not my problems… i have enough shit rolling around in my head that i don’t need anymore thank you very much.

Just because you don’t like something or the way it is being done… shut the fuck up. This is obviously someone from work. When they make my wage, deal with the shit i deal with day in and day out, and wear the damn green hat – THEN you can have a say.

Issues at home are not ones i share with at work – cause you know what – it ain’t their business.

People tend to dump on me – quite a bit – more than i think they realize. Please note, all you are doing is adding to my stress. Yes, i am stressed too. Yes, things don’t always go the way i planned too. And No, your problems are not any worse or better than mine – as you don’t know the circumstances behind mine.

Anyway – just in a foul mood at the moment. Work is not helping matters. There are days i just want to scream, kick, punch and cry all the same time.

This is one of those days.



{July 6, 2016}   Kitten.

i am here to push you out of your comfort zone.

i want you to be scared and vulnerable… it shows you where you need to go.

i want you to think however not overthink situations.

i want you to show growth.

i want you to be the best person you can be.

i want you to love you… for you.

Reflect on the person you want to be – and go for it. Write your dreams and goals down – attempt to make them happen.

i want you to utilize me more. i am here for you to use.

i want you to realize what an awesome person you already are.

i want you to know it will not be easy – it shouldn’t be. It took you a long time to get this way – it will take time to undo some of it.

However in saying that – don’t procrastinate, don’t use the length of time as an excuse, don’t drag it out, don’t use “being broken” as a reason for everything when you are uncomfortable or being pushed -Instead –  JUST DO IT – … knowing you are being supported.

 

 

 

 



et cetera
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