Seldom Seen Way











When you read these two words together, it seems to be an oxymoron. TPE relationships have one person in control and another “blindly” follow – or so it seems. The last couple of weeks I have been posting several memes on Facebook (and here) that encompass a few of things I am going to talk about. It has been getting me thinking a lot and has come up in conversation with a few different people.

Isn’t a TPE relationship dependent on each other to make it work? When does it cross the line into codependency? Can codependency be healthy? What really is the difference between the two?

In both a codependent and a TPE relationship, there is usually one person who is more passive/obedient/submissive and can’t/won’t/accepts another to make decisions for themselves and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live.

While you are in a TPE relationship, you would hope that you are growing as a person (first) and as a couple. That is the difference – codependency stops us from examining the best part of ourselves. It also hinders the potential for further growth in the relationship – and within our own growth as a person.

There are some things to do to stop the co-dependency. Remember YOU can still serve your Master, without losing yourself.

S-types tend to focus all their attentions on another and spend their lives thinking about others. When this happens you may not understand how to determine your own needs, wants, goals, and desires.  We need to learn and practise to perform self-care techniques in order to focus on our own well-being. These include reducing your stress, physical activity, getting enough sleep, and eating well.

I think every person needs to build healthy, flexible boundaries in all of our relationships. You learn this by lovingly detaching yourself – be your own person and learn to release your control of others needs and well-being.

I find the hardest thing to do is recognise your internal criticisms and personal need for perfection, by accepting yourself and any uncomfortable emotions. I say – own them – they are yours and deal with them. Even as s-type you can become assertive about your personal needs and values.

I find that many of the characteristics of both mimic each other … sometimes a little too closely. Interesting enough, I find that it can be from either side of the slash or together as a couple.

One thing I have noticed with many relationships is the Art of Enabling. This is a sign of an unhealthy codependence. Too many times, I have witnessed the use of enabling to help ease any type of relationship tension caused by one partner’s awkward and/or difficult habits.

Some examples include never letting them speak for themselves, bailing your partner out as to not having to deal with situations, repeatedly giving them another chance, ignoring the problem altogether, accepting their excuses, always being the one trying to fix the problem, or constantly coming to the rescue (or fondly called White Knighting)

What other things do you do that would make you think you are in a co-dependent relationship?

I hear too often (and I know I have used the phrase on an occasion or two) is the phrase “I can’t live without you” Another variation of it:  “I don’t know what I would do if you were not here”.

Romanticising M/s to this degree is not a healthy thing. I know, this is supposed to be romantic, but if you really look at it, it’s not. You sound more like an accessory which is different from the actual connection you should be having with your partner. It’s not sexy and it’s certainly not satisfying. I wish people would recognise their oneness and completeness so that you can truly enjoy the other person in your life rather than being half of a person who is incomplete without someone else.

Before we go too far down the rabbit-hole we should establish a couple of things. There are two types of people in a codependent relationship. You will need to determine which role (if not reversed in certain circumstances) your partner is in a codependent relationship.

The codependent individual is known as the ‘’caretaker’’, while the other individual in the relationship, is known as the ‘’taker’’. The takers typically have an unrestrained need for control of the attention, love, sexual relations, and approval they get and will give. This will often be shown through bouts of violence, blame, anger, irritation, criticism, neediness, righteousness, incessant talking, invasive touching, or emotional drama.

The taker can often express these behaviours outside of the codependent relationship. It can then affect their children, work relationships, and their relationships with friends.

There are several characteristics of being one with co-dependent behaviour.  I have noticed in past relationships I have had, and in relationships that are around me now the idea of co-dependency existing in a power exchange – on an entirely different level.

When looking at a TPE relationship, many of these characteristics/actions seem to occur over time without the participants even noticing. You get comfy in your roles, it seems to become the norm, and nothing is amiss…or so you think – yet the people around you see it very clearly.

One of the first things you will notice is that boundaries do not exist anymore. Boundaries divide up what are yours and somebody else’s – an imaginary line if you will. It isn’t referring to your body, money, and belongings, but to your feelings, thoughts and needs – your whole being. The person starts to have undefined or weak boundaries between themselves and others. They feel responsible for other people’s feelings and problems or go the other way and blame their own on someone else.

Now because of your issue with boundaries, you will notice that a consequence of poor ones is that you react to everyone’s thoughts and feelings. If someone says something you disagree with, you either believe it or become defensive. You absorb their words because there is no boundary. With a boundary, you’d realize it was just their opinion and not a reflection of you and you don’t feel threatened by the differences.

The Master is NOT always right – OH! No! Please do not say that! It cannot be!  It is one thing to be -one- with the Master, it is another to still have a boundary and have a voice all on your own. I find that many follow like sheep (okay – sheep do not always go where you guide them – trust me…raised them at one point in my life – best analogy I can think of at the moment). If a Master cannot say they are wrong and/or apologize by owning something, you have bigger issues. It forms resentment and a breach of trust and respect.

Codependents need other people to like them to feel okay about themselves. They are afraid of being rejected or neglected, despite the fact that they can function on their own. Other ones need to always be in a relationship because they feel depressed or lonely when they are by themselves for too long. This characteristic makes it hard for them to end a relationship. This includes when the relationship is painful or abusive and then end up feeling trapped. Vicious cycle it becomes, and it seems we all know a couple or two that are experiencing this. I have personal experience with my ex-husband on this front.

One of the problems people face in getting help for codependency is that they are in denial about it. They just don’t want to face their problem(s). Usually, they think the problem is someone else or with the situation. They either keep complaining or trying to fix the other person. Some go from one relationship to another and never own up the fact that they are the ones with the problem.

A codependent also will deny their feelings and needs. Instead, they are focused on what others are feeling and don’t know what they are feeling.  The same thing goes for their needs. They focus on other people’s needs and not their own and might be in denial of their need for space and autonomy. A Master should see and push a slave to own their feelings. It is beneficial for the slave to have activities/hobbies that do not involve Master – and vice versa.

Codependency does create stress and leads to many different painful emotions. The shame and low self-esteem will create anxiety and fear about:

-Being judged – Am I “slavey” enough?

-Being a failure – What if I can’t do what is asked of me?

-Making mistakes – “Oh no, I forgot to ask permission to eat.”

-Being alone/abandoned or even rejected “If I don’t do this, they will leave me”

-Being trapped “No one else will want me, I have nowhere to go”

 

These all, in turn, will lead to feelings of anger and resentment, depression, hopelessness, and despair.

How do you know you are in an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with your TPE Partner? These are some questions you could ask yourself.

Do you have a tendency to avoid conflict or uncomfortable emotions, or masking your emotions with passive-aggressive expressions of anger or humour?  Or does Master take it on for you instead? The codependent believes that help is needed and that the person in need cannot manage to make the right decisions or take the right actions to solve their own problems.

Do you take the responsibility for other people’s actions or overcompensate for your partner’s actions?

A codependent will expend enormous amounts of energy to take charge of another’s life-all under the guise of sincerely wanting to help. When the help or advice is ignored or rejected, does it feel like anger, abuse, and not being unappreciated?

Do you offer advice to others whether it is asked for or not? A codependent will jump at the opportunity to provide much-needed advice.

Codependents often do not understand boundaries. Once advice has been given, do they expect the advice to be followed?

Do you need others’ validation to feel good about yourself? Do you have an extreme preoccupation with the opinions of others or valuing their opinions over your own?

Do you have misconceptions that love means rescuing another person, which leads to constant thoughts of the other person’s needs instead of your own?

Do you go out of your way to please another, hoping to receive love, approval, or be accepted and liked? A codependent will feel victimised – if the approval is not given.

Do you give more than your share in the relationship? This is a tricky one, as a slave, you do a lot of things for the Master…the question is what are you getting back in return?

Do you have difficulty saying no or having guilt over being assertive?  There are ways to say you are not happy with something in a respectful manner. This goes both for your TPE relationship and other relationships you might have (i.e. family, friends).

Do you have difficulty communicating, identifying your own needs, or making decisions?

If these do not help you to identify based on these tendencies or behaviours, ask yourself questions that help reveal it.

Does/has the person you have a relationship with every hit or abused you in any way other than consensually and/or in a scene?  Abuse can be defined as emotional and mental besides physical.

Does the person use manipulation, shame, or guilt to control another’s behaviour? To get their way codependents will respond in a manner that will force compliance by others. These tactics may even be unconscious. And since everyone else’s behaviour is a reflection on the codependent, it is important that the codependent feel in control.

Do you get overwhelmed by how much you have to do, but never take the time to ask for help?

Do you go out of your way to avoid an argument?

Do you worry constantly about how others think about you? Do you think other people’s opinions are more important than yours?

Does the person you live with have a drinking or drug problem?

Do you find it hard to adjust to changes in any environment?

Do you get jealous or rejected when your partner spends times with friends/other people? This is one i know i have to fight with often – it is just a matter of owning the feeling and realizing that they need their space too.

Do you take everything personally or the person you are with does?  Because there are little to no boundaries in a codependent’s life, any remark, comment or action is a reflection back upon the codependent. This makes the need to feel in control at the forefront of a codependent’s Life.

Codependents develop techniques to lie to themselves about others’ behaviours, as they do not deal directly with their feelings. And because they feel responsible for others’ behaviours, they will justify and accuse others of their loved one’s poor behaviour. They sometimes even blame themselves for another’s poor behaviour, seeking to maintain control.

Codependent fears that if they are not successful at everything, or indeed expresses their feelings or needs, they will be rejected. In a codependent’s way of thinking, they will be unlovable. A codependent does not trust others easily or share openly because they will be exposed.

Do they act like a victim? Everything that happens either to the codependent or the loved one is a reflection on the codependent. Such people usually feel victimised and powerless and do not understand their role in creating their own reality.

This is just a few things to ponder when it comes to Codependency and how it can affect your relationship. Being in a total power exchange relationship can be difficult, however, if co-dependency is thrown in there too, it can make it unbearable.



{January 7, 2017}   Pretty Reminders

i know it has been a touch since i have written. It has been a crazy few months for us Both.

Life sometimes likes to complicate what you thought was going to happen, or when/where you get to go when you had a different freedom before. It has made us change a few things at home. The way we spend our time, our money, and our energies.

At first, it was hard, however, that time passes when you realise what you eventually gained. November and December was a good month of Family (blood and non) and having to slow down our Life to adjust. This has included the way we play. It has been good to put it into perspective.

Just yesterday, while at work, i had a few reminders of my last day or two. Nothing that would seem out of the ordinary, no huge wallops of bruised, broken or whipped skin.

You know those reminders when you just move a certain way. It becomes really apparent and you know they are there, being silent otherwise until an opportunity springs forward.

People forget that Play doesn’t always have to a staged event or one where it is quite obvious from your body that something went down.

These impromptu movements that pop up, either while you are both reading in bed, walking across the living room, in the shower, or bent over picking something up, become my favourites. It is those that remind me that at that moment, He was thinking of Himself and me – enjoying what is His and when He wants it.

One of those things was a bite mark in just the right place. The sweater could conceal it when i got up and had to walk around at work. The mark is just light enough but still visible. It stings if my finger grazes it, taking me to a happy place while we were showering. There is another bite mark just under my bra strap on my back. Again, if it just touched the right way…i grimace and then smile about the thought.

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The invisible ouchies such as being cunt-punched (one of my favourite things), makes walking an interesting thing especially when you need to walk the Stairs of Death.

The muscles on your legs which got positioned into a way that it hasn’t been in awhile. Interestingly this reminds me to continue yoga. There has been slacking with this one due to hours or lack of hours in my days/nights.

The play while tiger balm was being applied to my legs and feet. It was a highlight due to the fact He wore gloves (hehe, huge fetish). He was able to rub the muscles, make me squeal in pain and delight – all the while doing it to help me. It also helped His Sadist Heart – which i am more than alright with.

That moment when you go fill up Sir’s cup with more coffee, and He is instantly walking behind you while you cross the room. He likes to grab from behind and bend me over to play…which in turn has me mopping the floor.

Yes, reminders that i carry around with me when i am needing a pick me up.

Reminder when i don’t think the shift will ever end because i just want to be with Him at home.

A Reminder that our Relationship on a whole is fucking awesome even 8 years later.

 



{November 22, 2016}   DomSplained

When a -note- of the combined conversations/discussions of a night of MAsT on Consideration and Training is responded to by an individual who is obviously not from the area, nor understand what MAsT does … ends with her commenting after some dribble “Many people don’t do consideration or training periods. I never did it with my master. He’s been doing this since you were about eleven years old and has never done that consideration or treating with any of his relationships.”

The last line is what did it to me: “Why is it that I feel like I’ve just been DomSplained?” – You wish to bitch slap them. Good for you – I am glad it worked out for you.

The reason I say this is – I tend to read the profiles of the commenters – when you say one thing and read or do another, you do not become credible. It is interesting when your profile states one thing, and you read through it and find something else entirely – you were not considered? you didn’t train? I call bullshit – wait – your profile tells me that. Sockpuppet/troll accounts really piss me off.

I suppose she must know what we were discussing as a group – with the back and forth, and sharing. She must know what people were wanting to know, and wanted to ask – some afraid to even speak, yet got out of their comfort spot to do so.

If the information came off as DomSplaining… then I do not know what I can say – since I am definitely not a Dom and I was the one that put the notes together. There were a few websites sited and their words used – to give our members some links that may be helpful in their Life and Journey with TPE.

I am a little pissed off – and that is alright.

It was a good meeting with a lot of good information. I do hope that people got what they needed from it.

Edit (2 days later) : You definitely can tell i was agitated when i wrote this.



{August 17, 2016}   Private blog posting.

Earlier last night, i blogged a private post – one that i was not going to post at all.

Sir knows me a touch too well – and the way it was going – i was scared to have Him read it – His stress was quite evident when i picked Him up from work. i didn’t want to burden Him anymore than i needed to with my Stupid Brain.

He asked if all is good – as i was more quiet than usual – i honestly can’t remember how i responded… again He asked further down the road. i let Him know i did in fact blog – didn’t want to bother Him about it. He just told me it was His job to be “bothered” with it.

We got home, and i went to the bedroom to get ready for work…He read the post – He wandered back to the Bedroom – He held me.

From that moment, i knew it was good to tell Him – i didn’t need that hanging on my head all night into the next day. He did what He needed to reassure me…which i really needed at that moment.

Long story Short:

The most important thing i am to remember is – It is His main job to take care of me so that i can take care of everything else. He can’t help to make it better if i do not tell Him – and not to forget that.

“Yes, Sir!”



{July 3, 2016}   Humility.

This is the topic this month in Sir’s Household. He has asked Kitten to ask 3 s-types about Humility and what is means to them, and their relationship.

Sir has asked that i respond via a post – which i agree whole-heartily with. It is not something i can do in a sentence or two – or in coherent sentences – however i will try my best.

For me, humility plays a few parts in our Relationship. Many moons ago, i did write a blurb on this – though brief.

Humility (bolded for a reason) is my arch enemy. It was the elephant in the room but that was no more where Syn was concerned. He was going to deal with it Head-On.

I am a stubborn one. I am very independent as it has been more of a survival issue for me. I have goals and in getting to those goals sometimes (ok most times) I don’t care how I get there even if it is not safe on my personal well-being.

We will just say – i learned this lesson the hard way. Not something i recommend to others.

The Why and How i practice humility is something that i need to do daily. There are days where it is really easy… and of course there are days where i force myself – as it helps and re-enforces me to know my place in our relationship.

Humility naturally leads to submission. For me humility, submission and obedience go together.

It is one thing to serve Sir, but it’s another thing entirely to choose to be of service to Him. The grace (another watch word) of humility is worked in my Life through the discipline of serving.

i can show humility through obedience to Sir. Instead of imposing my desires and wants on Him, i submit to His words/actions, knowing that His agenda is in my or our best interest. When you trust Sir enough to take Him at His word – you know He doesn’t want to harm you and wishes to help you grow and move forward in a positive light.

There are always areas i can work on improving , new ideas i can learn and new experiences i can have and share with Him. It is like a built-in ego booster and you are learning to balance it. Humility for me is used as a way to remind myself how far i have come and how far i have yet to go. It is viewed as a motivation to strive to be even better.

To bring more humility into your relationship, you need to be honest about what you can and cannot do, have and be. This in turn brings up vulnerability. You need to realize that Life is about growth and change.

One thing i have learned is the expectation that i might have hoped for – is NOTHING like it turns out to be. Sometimes you just have to not look at your Life as always serious otherwise you get easily frustrated, angry and disappointed. Go with the Flow – you might be surprised by the outcome.

In saying that , being teachable is another part of humility. i do not know everything and as it is i can learn a lot from others – even at my age. i find it actually harder the older i get to realize this. We tend to get more set in our ways and very stubborn.

i have learned to be more grateful for what i have; be it skills, intelligence, or even my looks, yet not brag about it. Be just more humble. There is always someone more skilled, more intelligent – and hell better looking.

You need to take responsibility for your actions as actions, not as a definition of who you are. This allows you to be more objective about yourself – and hopefully motivate you to do something/move forward instead of being in a stand-still or go in a backward movement. There cannot be growth otherwise. This is something that i instill in myself, and to the ones around me.

 

 

 

 

 



{March 2, 2015}   Back to work…

and such.

Routine Routine – it is back with coffee in hand, keyboard under hand, and brain on auto-pilot.

These are not all bad things – for me anyway. Though going back to work is not something I desire to do today – I enjoyed my time off a little too much this time even with a crappy emotional birthday.

To shake it up a touch today – I have decided on 3 eggs, beef sausage and a slice of toast (which I don’t normally do – but felt compelled for some reason)

I never did see my oldest this weekend – however we did text back and forth. She apparently wanted me to get her sister a turtle.. while I was in the City. Why? To go with the turtle tank D got her.  Yeah – no.

We had a great time in the City with our good Friends and hit up a couple of the Thrifty stores… I came out with a new jacket (and no I didn’t enable Him to get another 😛  however I do have a new Fetlife fetish – coat service), a dress, a shirt and a couple of books.

This best thing I got was a Nancy Pearl action figure. For those that have no clue – it is a Librarian figurine. She can be very difficult to find. Randilin and His wife found one and I am now the proud owner of one. It will have a good home 😀  They have no idea how happy this makes me.

“The role of a librarian is to make sense of the world of information. If that’s not a qualification for superhero-dom, what is?” Nancy Pearl

We all had supper at a Mongolian(?) restaurant… Sir was a very happy Man. It was quite tasty… and I got full fast. I wasn’t complaining.

And as always the drive in and back home was full of conversation. As a result – I have most of the outline written out for our presentation Living 24/7 on the 21st.Honestly I am worried how this will be relevant to some of the folks that are coming – however I do not know their dynamics. I think it will be more for the ones that are not currently in a relationship that are stumping me. How to include some solo 24/7 till the time you meet someone. It shouldn’t be hard – just a twist I need to remember to ensure I am including all.

Well I need to finish my coffee, ate most of the food –  2 3/4 eggs, and 2 1/4 sausage (yeah – I love to be mathy – new word LoL)

It appears my Einstein is singing me a song of his people – yet I still do not know the words.

Till later A/all… my fur-babies beacon me.



I have dragged my ass out of the bed… a feat in itself these days. I just want to have a holiday from work.

Yesterday I can sum up this way “Respect goes both ways”.

Sometimes I wonder why I put forth the effort I do… than I remember I love to work. I love to be busy – However I fucking hate people.

If I could find a job that allows me a desk in an office away from people – and still make the same $$ that I do – I would have better balanced energy. They drain me.

Anyway – 3 more days of work – and then I don’t work again till March 2. It means it will be also my Birthday week – and we know how much I love that – NOT.

…be right back – have rice cooking.

Back I am… to Zeus thinking my chair was his new perch – shoo shoo..

I had a meeting yesterday and while I was sitting there, I glanced down and noticed (glaringly by the way) was a bruise on my arm as I decided a short sleeve shirt was part of my attire that day.

You know that quick panic that goes on in your head at that point – fuck…shit…I hope no one else notices…ooooh what a pretty colour it is…fuck … shit… /pull down sleeve slightly…. that feels good when I poke at it….  – You get the point.

For the most part things like that don’t matter – as I usually have most bruises/cuts covered…I am not sure why that small panic was happening. I am quite open about my activities on a whole without giving details. Most people I work with are kink friendly…however this was a Plant Town wide meeting – so other sections of the plant were there and I am not all that familiar with them except for name/department and if I ever had interaction with them when I worked with Payroll.

And really this is my Life. If you can’t take me for who I am – Fuck ya (well not literally unless you are some cute thing I can bring home to Sir too).

How was your weekend Dot? It was fucking awesome, thank you for asking!

OH? Why was that? Because I got to be with my Love, Family/Friends, go to the City AND shop for Books.

Damn I can’t mention the other things 😦 except to a couple at work that know but don’t practice and won’t run away screaming.

I really want to be able to move to the City – we have more in common there with People we love, it is a comfort level I can deal with, and a step in a direction we both want. We feel very stagnant here. If we want to get something going it will feel like we are encroaching on someone else’s turf – which gets people here butt hurt.

We are 24/7 with really no one to share who we are truly are or understand why we do things the way we do here – as we still are quite open in our everyday Life about our dynamic. We have just learned to phrase it differently to the vanillas so they understand it when asked.

This is why I think MAsT is important – and a good rock to lean on because of the People, the information/advice and the camaraderie as they will understand things with the same eyes/thought process.

Holy fuck I went ALL over on this post… my brain has been squirrelly lately – I know this. So I apologize for being so random – well not really – LoL – Otherwise I wouldn’t be who I am if I sounded sane 😉

Time to finish this cup of coffee – which by the way – I switched brands and found out that it only filled HALF my cup which means it should fit the new cup that I couldn’t use yesterday. First world coffee cup problems… I know :p

Later A/all!



{February 17, 2015}   How was your weekend?

Mine was fucking awesome.

I got to spend time with my Love, my Kink Family, and on holiday Monday with Friends.

There was rope play, awesome conversations, showing off marks and smacked asses. There was great food, awesome company, and books galore. There was time to snuggle, to nip, to be teased and to tease. There was belts, vibrators, vibrators that inflate, a tongue and beard.

There was Yoda and a murloc 😀 – One of the best gifts I got for Valentine’s – I can’t thank Sir enough – He knows His G33kgirl so well ❤

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It was a weekend that I didn’t want to end. That is what I want all the time for us. Back to reality this week – however it is 1 week of work and then HOLIDAY.

I start that holiday off in the City with Sir and our Kink Family shopping before we head to the MAsT meeting.  I am hoping that our Friends from town here find a sitter to be able to attend.

During that week off I will be getting the house in order especially my bedroom/closets, along with a mock up of our presentation “24/7 – it is possible” (or some title like that).

At the present time I am enjoying my coffee in the new mug I got myself – it is not Tassimo friendly – it was cup runneth over. It was an interesting mess – I am sure Sir would have been amused by me cussing about wasted coffee – I was almost tempted to slurp it off the counter however it was a touch too hot to even sponge up.

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I got my squats in for the day, and thought I should start the Treadmill now – and that took me by surprise at how out of shape I am – I need to figure out what speed to do it at without feeling like I am going to end up on the floor.

Looked at work email and frustrated already without being at work – that is a whole other story for another time.

After I finish this blog post I am going to continue to nurse the coffee, post a couple of cat/coffee posts to FB, and jump into the shower… check my auction house on World of Warcraft and try to relax before I go to work.

Talk to you all later – sorry this ended up being more of an update then anything.



I am drinking my first cup of coffee for the day and looking outside at all the snow that fell last night… all I can think of is YUCK.

I will have to shovel my deck, my front of the house and up the small deck, and all the way to the car. so yeah – YUCK.

Not much on the kink side for my Life as of late except the odd time we can “play” together. Sunday was a good night… belt whippings and all. I was amazed at how I was taking them considering it has been sporadic play with us due to schedules. He got me into a good head space that night and I was calm and relaxed for the rest of the night … even today 2 days later… I am still in a good place.

My bum is looking a few shades of purple/black/blue… and so pretty… it is hard not to want to look at it when I can.

Last week we were asked to lead a discussion for the March MAsT meeting – surprised I am for the request, however it is the least we can do for everything the Leaders and the group has done for us.

And of course I had to ask why:

Dot: and why us?

Randilin: Honestly I am sure any topic you to want to talk about will be fine, Dot you have been doing this for a long time.

Sir: ^ \

Randilin:Because you know your shit, and are both good speakers

Dot: thanks for making me feel old Randilin

Sir: LOL

Randilin: LMAO

And it is true – I have been doing this a very long time – however I really never think about it. I just do and am. It makes it even better when Sir is the same way – it is who/what He is…Being true to ourselves

The hard part is picking a topic and going with it. The problem is there are at least 2-3 topics we would do it on – however I don’t want them all to be sub driven topics. I really think there needs to be more out there for the D types.

We have a couple of thoughts on the back burner and Randilin didn’t help by adding one in there we didn’t think about. We have to give them an answer really soon… I am hoping that by the next MAsT meeting Feb 21 we have something to give to them as to what we are doing.

Interesting enough, this is easy for me – I am not the type that goes anxious in this setting – for me it is like teaching…which I find rewarding. Sir was a little concerned I think that He would have to be the one who speaks 90% of the time… and normally that would be the case.

This is my Life – and talking about it in a mature mannered group who have many perspectives on the subjects make it relaxing/calming. It is like me in a group of moms talking about their day, trials and tribulations.

Sorry if I was bouncing around – no wordpad up and rearranging the thoughts – just me, the idea of having to deal with the snow and a cup of coffee in hand.

Till later A/all 🙂



{January 30, 2015}   OMFG – I got sex this week :p

The other night was fucking awesome… let me restate that – yesterday morning was fucking awesome.

I got home from work and quickly checked on my fur babies – all were good and fed. I grabbed my tablet, a shirt and some panties.

My next stop was Sir’s – it was sleep-over nap time… YAY! I knew He would be already somewhat sleeping, so I wander in and do my thing as I always do before getting into His bed to His warm body.

I drop my things at the door, go to the bathroom and strip – except panties (as Mother Nature decided she wished to visit), say hi to Daisy, fill His water cup and ensure all the doors on cupboards are shut.

I quietly (or so I think) go to the bedroom – and since I have to make the bed before I sleep – I “made” it as best I could with Him in it – it is quite amusing to straighten blankets with a man and cat in the Bed… hehe.

I get in on my side, grab my tablet and check my FB, games and FL before I sleep. I LOVE when He flips over and lays an arm on me – the weight of it is comforting – that I am His and He will protect me from the monsters in the dark.

That night, I just looked at Him while He snoozed… His beard so touchable and soft framing His mouth…the eyes gently closed and relaxed… My tummy fluttered as did my clit yearning for Him to just put His hand on it. I gave Him light kisses on His head, ear and beard… and closed my eyes.

That morning we got to wake up with each other. It was only to be snuggle time however my body betrays me when He is so close to me. I tend to grind when He gets up close to me gently tugging at my nipples…. what girl wouldn’t get all hot and bothered?

Well that was a morning of anal sex, love bites, breakfast at Timmies and giggling time because well… I got sex… anal sex. As you can probably guess – I love it.

I am still giggly cause it makes me so happy that He makes me like this… after 6 years together – I still feel like a love-sick teenager with Him … and Him with me.

This is the happiest relationship I have ever been in. I fucking love that Man more every day we are together.

Anyway – there is more – though a lot of it is TMI and I will spare you all from it.

Time to get ready to pick up Sir from work and make our way to Munch… after that work overnight because I wanted to go to Munch.

Laters A/all 🙂



et cetera
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