Seldom Seen Way











{July 25, 2017}   Low day

i am feeling low in energy and spirit today. i want to write about what is going on with my days however it seems i -might- offend people if they -think- it is about them.

There is nothing tragic, just patiently waiting for my vacation coming up starting this Saturday. As it is, the weekend is non-stop from the looks of it right now. Also adding to it is news from -e- concerning venue issue for MAsT come September. We need to find a new home.

Anyway, i should drag my arse and get the dispatch done at work. There is many changes happening here to add to my stress – and that includes hiring another person. To be honest i am happy that one of the minions is transferring to the other Plant. It is just causing a bit of chaos for me.

Laters,

dot.

 



{February 9, 2017}   Loneliness

Jumbled thoughts – just trying to get out of the head – If it doesn’t make sense – that is alright – it makes sense to me.

Sometimes it would be nice to have “friends” and not just people you work with. To be able to have a social life here at home – just not wait till we go to the City either for MAsT or Subwoofer.

There is always Sir, and occasionally my children wander home… usually to wash their laundry and grab whatever food they see. I get a brief update on their lives.

When i see people or interact with (other than work), Sir is always with me. He gets to go to coffee munches if they are during the weeknights – i cannot. i feel left out and disconnected. And yes – i understand that i am jealous.

He gets to converse with a variety of people because of His job or people seek Him out there.

When i had young children i got out more and was more social than i do now. If i ever felt isolated it is more so as i am older and with my job.

i don’t have the luxury to go to anything that is planned in the evenings because i work – the other people we know are day walkers – i am not.

i know my interests are not the same as most women – or we just don’t know where to start a conversation.

Sir gets that intellect conversation via chat/emails from other women. It is something i actually crave.

What i get instead are messages from men that are directed by the head in their pants not the one on top of their shoulders. Men feel the need to flatter / objectify me believing that will get me to want to sleep with them or want to be their third. Or it will be the woman of the couple requesting the same thing. And when i try to direct the conversation to something other than sex, they disappear. NOT that i am against sex – i LOVE it – though i don’t want to start my first initial contact with you based solely on that. i love to know about the person.

i am thankful i have a Sir that does listen when i want to talk to Him – sometimes it takes a bit to form what i need to spit out. He speaks Dot very well LoL. There is more to this as the topic of poly came up. Right now i am not in a place to write about it. Perhaps in time or perhaps my brain will allow me to figure out things easier than it does.

Anyway, i really should finish my work that is on my desk…i do wish to go home and be with Sir. Hopefully He is feeling a touch better tonight.

 

 



That is what it has been like for the last month or two. The tension headaches are coming full force and not much is helping in the way to alleviate it.

Tomorrow i am going to a massage appointment, and hoping that will help with my upper back muscles. The nerves and muscles are so tense and pinched. The bottom of my calves are bad, however, i can live with that being sore.

When i get home from work, i want to clean ALL of the things. The problem being that it is 1am or later and Belle is trying to sleep and Sir will be going to bed soon. i really hate not being in bed if He is there. It never feels right. i try to use that time to relax, except lately it is not helping at all. Instead, i can’t sleep and stay up longer than i want which in turn means i get up later than i want.

Right now, i just want to be at home. i want to curl up in my corner of the bed.

***********

Now i am home….finally in bed. Grateful for the warmth of the comforter while Sir is on the other side of me reading from His tablet. Here is hoping the Advil kicks in sooner than later.



{July 6, 2016}   Disappointed.

Next week is a submissive meeting that i will not be able to attend – First because it is in the neighbouring city 2 hours away… and the other is because of the day of the week – i work evenings.

There is going to be a guest speaker that i really wish to listen to. i have been admiring her from afar for a very long time. She has jokingly has said to Sir that perhaps She and her girl should come to our fine city soon – however our schedules to align would be the challenge.

It was to a point where i went silent last night for a touch – trying to find a way to get a day off to go. i get 2 floaters a year – the one is used for Remembrance Day due to our Plant shutting down and it is used to ensure we get a paid day. The other is already being used to go to FFG (Kinky Camping in our own backyard) as the Friday before the long weekend is the first day. It allows me to get everything packed, unpacked, tent up, and ensure Sir is ready to go once He is done work.

The other option was to trade a shift with the other Supervisor – there are no holidays planned for anyone that week. The problem with that is the day of the week – Tuesday. The Monday shift, i would get home at 12-1am to be back at work for 8am…work till 4:3o pm – Drive 2 hours to just make it for 7pm meeting… and then the drive home.

This fucking sucks living here. To move is a pain in the arse, though it is an option if i am able to find a job that pays as well or a person or two retires in the neighbouring City’s Plant. The problem is (or not so much a problem i suppose) i just got another raise of 3.97%. This makes it even harder to find employment that is available for this salary.

SO, i will pout and hope that all that attend actually listen to Her – and take things from it along with applying it to their day-to-day relationships/Life.

Now back to household tasks that need to be done.

 

 



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