Seldom Seen Way











{June 11, 2017}   Productive days…

Sometimes the “high” just comes one day and i attempt to get all of the things done, while i have the energy to do it.

This is Day 2.5 and i am feeling good about what i have been accomplishing. Do you notice it is always those “little” things that make you sit back and smile?

Last night we were at a small get together we set up because we are stuck here instead of going to the City. Work made sure of that for both us, Sir works today, and i am on call for the weekend. It was good to catch up with people we haven’t seen for a while and just have a night to relax and good conversation.

It was a bonus that we went somewhere that was stumbling distance from home. It was nice to walk to and from the place. It helped slow me down a touch.

Oh, i am excited – i have finally hung up Einstein. I thought to tell Sir because well it has been bugging me for a while.

The conversation went like this:

me: okay – I have been attempting to hang Einstein… I think I did it… I pray it doesn’t fall down LoL

Sir:  OK I had to read that twice….. I thought you were talking about the cat. jesus.

me: ummm Love… i am not that barbaric

By the way, just to make this clear – this is the Einstein i am referring to:

einstein.jpg

If you knew how much i loved Einstein, you would understand why this is a good thing 🙂

i wandered outside in the yard today, because it is absolutely beautiful out there. i had charged up the weed wacker the other day in prep for some “wacking of the weeds”. The stairs to the decks, and fence are free of tall grass blades, thistles (ow), and whatever else was popping out of the ground.

The desk i sit at is finally clear of the stacked books (both sides). They have been catalogued, sorted, and put away. There is a box of doubles, triples and “meh” i don’t need/want these started. There are still a couple or four boxes to get through yet. It does mean we require a bookcase or two to home them…however i don’t think that is all that bad.

The chaos that was the desk is now clear. This was one of those things that needed to be tackled sooner than later. It has lighten my brain more than anything else.

 

The Desk:

IMG_20170611_154418

 

This is just a small sampling of what i have been doing to occupy my brain to help it relax. Unfortunately, reading and even writing is hard to do right now, as my brain is going in full throttle at the moment. i have backspaced so many times… (click, click, click) it is giving me a headache attempting to write coherently. When i am like this i need to document something so I know when i am in the “zone”.

Well, i hear that the microwave of dinged! and the chicken breasts are likely thawed. i should go and figure out what supper will consist of.

Talk to you later!

 

dot.



{May 4, 2017}   Topics.


{May 3, 2017}   Draft topics/titles:

Touch ago, i wrote that i have several drafts just waiting to be written – some of them have been sitting there for nearly a year. Some you can tell what they are obviously about, and there a few that the title is vague. All that really matters at this point is that i know what they concern. Many of them will not go beyond what you see now.

Fascinated by this and how it works: Herd mentality, or mob mentality, describes how people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviours. A group of 3 or more persons, who act with a negative group conscience to show strength in numbers.

The secrets that are entrusted to you and not bring them up so as to not hurt people you know. What it does to you and hope that you can trust others with your information. I found this apparently is not the case.

People tend to forget what you have done for them when they were in distress – and how it may affect the person/people dealing with their issues with them.

People are not always what they seem. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

What is a Master (to me)?

Insecurity, Character and how they align.

Accepting an apology the first time and letting it go.

Oddball. I feel like the one that doesn’t belong.

Being appreciated.

Owning your shit, and not take on other’s shit as your own to not deal with yours.

Great Weekend Getaway

The Instant Gratification Age

Romance comes in different ways.

A secret love affair…

Still Buzzing.



{April 24, 2017}   It taunts me…

the Write button… posted in the corner of the screen. It has a small (8) beside it. That is 8 drafts sitting in waiting.

There are several more drafts waiting in my head to be started and not finished. Last week i have already deleted 4 from the list…

i get all gong ho to write, sit down to start or finish one… and then the brain gives me a gentle fuck you. It seems to be enough to procrastinate even more. It doesn’t matter what else i choose to call it – it is just that.

Then the procrastination becomes a wall. A huge red brick wall.

There i am struggling to get through it, however, the mortar on the brick is keeping it up and strong.

Instead, i will try to go over it or maybe even around it.

In a sense, i am writing now, though it is nothing of substance. Perhaps i will try again later 🙂 – the journey to get this far has been tiring.

 

dot.

 

 



{November 22, 2016}   DomSplained

When a -note- of the combined conversations/discussions of a night of MAsT on Consideration and Training is responded to by an individual who is obviously not from the area, nor understand what MAsT does … ends with her commenting after some dribble “Many people don’t do consideration or training periods. I never did it with my master. He’s been doing this since you were about eleven years old and has never done that consideration or treating with any of his relationships.”

The last line is what did it to me: “Why is it that I feel like I’ve just been DomSplained?” – You wish to bitch slap them. Good for you – I am glad it worked out for you.

The reason I say this is – I tend to read the profiles of the commenters – when you say one thing and read or do another, you do not become credible. It is interesting when your profile states one thing, and you read through it and find something else entirely – you were not considered? you didn’t train? I call bullshit – wait – your profile tells me that. Sockpuppet/troll accounts really piss me off.

I suppose she must know what we were discussing as a group – with the back and forth, and sharing. She must know what people were wanting to know, and wanted to ask – some afraid to even speak, yet got out of their comfort spot to do so.

If the information came off as DomSplaining… then I do not know what I can say – since I am definitely not a Dom and I was the one that put the notes together. There were a few websites sited and their words used – to give our members some links that may be helpful in their Life and Journey with TPE.

I am a little pissed off – and that is alright.

It was a good meeting with a lot of good information. I do hope that people got what they needed from it.

Edit (2 days later) : You definitely can tell i was agitated when i wrote this.



{October 5, 2016}   Catch-up yet mildly short

i have a few starts to posts and then nothing comes to the fingers to write. i suppose those will have to wait a touch longer.

Last week, my son and his partner had a son – Caden is a sweetie. He looks a little like his father and his mamma. His head has lots of hair even a week later 🙂

i still cringe at the term Grandma and all the terms used in that context. It really is how others use the word, and not always implying a positive – if that makes sense. Then again, i dislike when words are used to make you sound old and withered.

i know i know – it is -just- a word however people still put a spin on it – usually unconsciously with the tone when spoken or written.

Anyway, enough of that nonsense.

My baby has come home from her move to another province. It worked well for her, unfortunately, her partner was not having the same luck. After close to 2 months, they decided to come back.  She got her old job back and picked up a second part-time job to help supplement, along with finding an apartment. For being only 20, i need to start giving her more credit…though at times we all do shake our heads at her.

The oldest and her partner are currently in the middle of house hunting. He is happy with a few of the choices, she is not – or at least not satisfied. This is getting close to a month, and we pray they agree on something soon. It would be great to have our home back to ourselves again.

There is more i am sure and more geared towards our kinky side of Life however again, it is a matter of my fingers and brain cooperating to get that done.

 



{May 27, 2016}   The wanting to write.

You know that feeling, back in your head – things swimming around, not wanting to be drowned out – screaming a little louder so you will notice and acknowledge it.

There is that want, yet there are too many screams to distinguish one from the others. The head is pounding on top of all this.

It is like my head/body know that after tonight, it is on “holidays” for a week. Yet the way they are shaping up to be, it won’t be much me time available. It is like i am on a constant move. There is always so much to do and no time to get it done.

The headache i am having is a tension/stress one – as the 3 extra strength Advil still haven’t kicked in since before 5pm (it is now after 7pm). In saying that, my feet/legs feel better.

In the next few hours, i am going to not be able to stop and really relax. Hell, i have been interrupted 3x already with writing this small blurb.

Make that 6x now… seriously – people are so not organized it hurts my head… as i am the one that has to “fix” something, answer the questions cause no one else is in the office who should be answering it, and i really need a coffee.

It is now 8pm – i am hungry, i need coffee, and just want to be done with this day already.

Today, i was trying to get things ready for the weekend. The toy bags are packed, the clothes washed/dried, the suitcase is ready to be filled, and the toiletry bag is half packed till we are done with our morning.

If i get home at a decent hour (not looking good by the way), maybe sleep will be something i get. We will have to get up, get ready, with me quickly packing the car – and drive 2 hours with no sleep. The first workshop is at noon. We have to leave the city by 9 to ensure we have time.

Saturday and Sunday will be busy days – and we will be driving home Monday morning, to ensure Sir gets to work on time.

After a little nap for me, i think that will be a good time to update you all on the workshops and the weekend fun.

NOW, back to the paperwork piling on my desk, perhaps a salad thrown into my mouth and a coffee to calm the nerves.

 

dot.

 



{April 22, 2016}   Neglecting.

You know when you neglect something, it just keeps piling up? It seems writing is one of those things… so much going on and no time to sit still long enough to debrief with yourself.

Enjoyed a nice hot bubble bath today though – i think that is the longest i have been in one spot while not at work – oh wait – i rarely am in one spot there too.

i will make you a deal – on the weekend – i will update, i promise!

This will be the only way i know that it will happen – need to figure out where i left off and start another story time with dot!

 

Must get back to ensure Sir has food for supper… as do i – then off to work i go.

 



{September 25, 2014}   Voice.

Lately I have noticed something about myself. I seem to be losing my voice…however it isn’t because of Sir…I think it is more because of me. I have been more and more talking through Him instead of actually making a point of commenting on pages, or group discussions W/we are a part of.

 

We have great conversations together, yet I don’t make the effort to write my thoughts. Yes sometimes my thoughts are all over the place, and it can take a touch to put them in coherent sentences, but I have been slacking on that. It is easier to let Him write as He is more eloquent than I with the wordy things. Sometimes when I do want to write, He beats me to it – and then I don’t want to sound like I am just repeating what He is saying – as it can appear as if I don’t have a thought on my own.

 

Trust me, I am a vocal person – when the need arises… and the topic is something I am very passionate about. I can’t help wondering why I am doing it. It seems that even other subs/slaves rather talk to a Dom/Master and get information than a peer, as if what They will say will be so profound and earthshaking… and The be-all and end- all.

 

I am not sure if it is because now I am identifying as a slave instead of a sub and subconsciously I think that is my place to speak through Him and not appear to have thoughts of my own.

 

I left a group recently because I was getting frustrated from the feed posts from another person and instead of writing what I know – and scared that I may offend them (as it seems to be the easy thing to do I find), I “ran” away.

 

I came back because I really couldn’t stay away – some of my favourite people are in this group and their combined intelligence, as I am a sucker for that sort of thing.

 

I could remove the individuals that annoy me – however I find that tends to get a tad messy as to explain the why. I just need to learn to grow a thicker skin, ignore the blatant inexperience and stupidity.

 

Anyway – this is something that has been rattling around in my head and needed to get out so I can finish my night without too much cloudy residue escaping.



W/we have a friend that is going through a couple of Journeys that would for most people make them want to quit Life. I admire Him for the way He is carrying Himself… yes sometimes I want to throttle Him, however I know it isn’t Him that is causing the grief – it is His body fighting with Him all the time. His mind is a bag of cats – that is how He describes it… He is dealing with Mental issues along with detox/addictions.

He wants to be Better. He is working to get Better.

 

That is the brief background I will give on this Individual. Today – He posted on a forum W/we all belong to concerning male submissives. His entire piece was written with much thought and knowing. There were two paragraphs though that stood out for me:

All in all, as the pool of potential partners in a local community dwindles, embracing yourself, and taking the time to understand yourself BEFORE getting too far too fast with relationships is the only way some of us can be true to both ourselves and a potential partner(s).

AND:

I’m glad several people suggested I slow down. Being a Top requires a lot of practice in many skill areas. It can take someone years to gain all the skills needed. Rushing into things and trying to be what you’re not ready for is how people get hurt.

 

Many people get into such a “frenzy” at times that they forget there are others that they need to think of for their needs. The young ones (D and s-types) are especially the ones to watch out for – it is that generation of instant gratification. They are young and have no skills yet think they know everything or at least pretend so their egos don’t bruise too much.

 

This week I am hoping to follow up on this post. I really needed to get this out of the brain while I am at work.

 

I think Dom/me frenzy is just as much as a problem as is sub frenzy – however we never hear about it – or at least in my opinion.

 



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